People and or Things That Are Getting On My Nerves...

From the ridiculous to the ridiculous, all of this is stuff that I'm finding, very, very annoying...

I've tried to be tolerant of this dweeb, but nothing doing. I can't tell you how much I want this thing off of my televison screen. From his siren like voice to his Pez dispenser head, Billy Bush is the worst of us. You know what I hate most of all? He makes is so that a Pat O' Brien is always needed. That's just wrong.

Bad Report On Billy: It's common knowledge that Bush is a horrendous, callous human being on the red carpet. Shocker...



I can actually see these two broadcasting live from the apocalypse. It seems that Ryan Seacrest has signed on the fading E! Network to test everyone's patience. Good, we deserve it. Guiliani DePandi isn't awful 24-7, but we are lessened as a community whenever DePandi delivers news on non-entities like Paris Hilton. I've noticed an odd gaze in her eyes since she's been back on the nightly broadcast. Sad actually...

Ryan live from a makeshift studio in his house that he lovingly calls "The Punishment Room."






Well I excatly can stand her, but I don't like the manipulation from VH-1's odious Flavor of Love. On the show Flav nicknamed her "Smiley." The producers clearly have portrayed her as a hot, kind-of shy and somewhat fragile woman looking for love by way of a space alien. It seems that "Smiley" has been seen before on the WWE as Alexis. It was some kind of wrestling/diva search. And yeah she's fully capable of grounding Flav to dust in case he tries to "wild out." What deceptive, faulty advertising. That's why I'm wary of reality TV.


It's a memoir..."


Oh god...

Kevin Federline: PopoZao

Now finally some good news. My sources/street team always keep me up on what the young folks are listening to. They tell me Kevin Federline is one of the best voices out there today. Here's a clip of him having a listening party for this track that's sure be a No 1.


The song Kevin's given us is the poignant and seminal, "Popo Zao." Deftly bridging the languages, Federline translates it to "Bring the ass." Hey, that's great. The video shows him thoroughly enjoying the very idea of himself and that infernal racket that's coming out of the speakers. Like a young David Silver, Kevin is a mad scientist, fusing sounds and style until greatness is reached. He's not quite ready to date Donna and go on the road with Babyface, but he's getting there....

Favorite Part: When the whole deal is pleasing "K-Fed" so much, there's nothing left to do but a "Hoo hoo hoo..." Yeah this track certainly elicits that...



Genius at work...

Pop Culture Idiot: Achiever of the Minute: The Five Heartbeats

You know, you cannot have any comprehensive music collection without the Five Heartbeats. What a great group. There was a time when you either had to be a Temptations fan or a Five Heartbeat fan, I was always a Heartbeats fan. I first saw them when they performed at the prison where I was residing. I later got a chance to talk with the guys and we all had a good laugh over the loose talk that said they were a "fake group" and they "didn't exist." Eddie King told me that after I serve my 1,203 year sentence I could be their road manager.


The Five Heartbeats are just great. While most groups of the time were recording and playing dates, these innovators also had a camera crew follow them around. In a way, they broached the reality aspect of the business before anyone. And those hits. There isn't a day that goes by where I hear "I've Got Nothing But Love." I've got a word for the haters, that song totally wasn't created in 1991. If there's anything to be said about the Five Heartbeats, it's that they crammed 20 odd years of living in 90 minutes....

Great News: I've been tapped to compile a greatest hits compilation for the guys. Here's a partial song list...

"I Really Don't Care If I Rains"
"I Can Help Myself"
"Papa Was A Nice, Nice Man"
"Way Over The Boardwalk"
"Toot, Toot Toostie, Jason's Blog Sucks"
"In the Midnight Hour, Or 7 ish? It's Your Call"

Jennifer Aniston: What Happened to Voxxy?

Today's puzzler comes courtesy of Jennifer Aniston's involvement with a much ballyhooed yet stalled website, Voxxy. The whole thing started with a lot of bells and whistles during its 2000 internet extravaganzy. You know, I was interested in how Jennifer was going to deal with the issues that faced young women. The sad thing is after the launch I never thought about Voxxy again. Well, that's not true, I did think about it again--just yesterday. I guess I missed a few internet chats huh?





Not So Fast: Seems I didn't miss a darned thing. Despite the write-ups in Variety, People, Oui, Grit, Popular Mechanics and Sport, Voxxy faded out as soon as it began. I'm saddened by that fact.

Tales of an Internet Scavenger: I've been poking around what's left of the site and it's not a whole heck of a lot. What is still online is something I enjoy, in fact I visit it because it's like a snapshot in time. A time when Jennifer Aniston didn't set my teeth on edge.

What Happened to Voxxy, An Idiot's Take: Don't have a clue. Although the website was created by other women, Aniston apparently was the most recognizable face for the whole deal. Aniston was signed on to do 13 half-hour episodes for the network. One word: I'm still waiting...

Dr. Phil and Match.com: Flirtin' With Disaster

What a revoltin' development. According to the trades and a cringe-worthy commercial, it seems that Dr. Phil is joining the fine folks at Match.com. Goody gumdrops. For his part Dr. Phil has offered a MindFindBind plan that's guaranteed for singles to find one another. Yay Dr. Phil! You know it sounds like a good idea, but there's some things we have to keep in mind. Dr. Phil is right about 60% of the time. Those stats aren't great in "amour." Phil's getting paid for this disaster/excursion. And last but not least, love sucks. Other than that, it sounds great.


The Review: I'm not a full subscriber but I did get a chance to see a little video tease of the product. It's mostly Dr. Phil talking in a casual setting with about 6 or 7 people. No doubt it's the best moments culled from a dreary, mandated get-togethers. As for the man of the hour, he's as blah as ever. In a way, I think it's great that Phil's reheated blarney is given such a nifty presentation. There's some nice fake patter too...


Random Thoughts: I could have sworn Dr. Phil was in cahoots with another online dating deal. As of this writing Phil's has been double dealing with Perfect Match too. Cheater!

A case study for Dr. Phil. I've been an intermittent member of Match.com. Match.com actually sent me an email and said I was undateable. I have action figures, I'm a geek and an idiot. Women just love that...

Ricky Martin: The Adventures of Pee-Pee Man

Pee Pee Pointing Man...

Talk about a total jackass... It seems Ricky Martin is steamed because some people are up in arms about his comments in a Blender Magazine. The topic? Ricky Martin whizzing on folks. According to Martin's comments, he seemed sanguine about his activity and said, "I love giving the 'golden shower.' I've done it before in the shower. It's like, so sexy, you know, the temperature of your body and the shower water is very different."

He's done that before in the shower. Goody. Why does that remind me of those SNL skits with Chris Kattan playing Antonio Banderas. And although Ricky's boasting like a mighty mighty man, anyone who thinks of talking about that in an interview, with so many words--is totally not cool.

Martin of course is also clueless to the fact why someone thinks this is odd. In a huff he discussed this in Spanish and in a letter to Univision.com and said, "At the time I granted the interview never did it cross my mind that my comments would spark this absurd and sensationalist public discussion. I cannot avoid speculation about my career and life, but I cannot allow those for whom my foundation works to be affected because I am a public figure." Let's recap, Ricky Martin was talking about peeing on somebody. I assume the original interview was to push that eventual cut-out CD he recently released, he also said, "I'm open to everything. There are moments for soft, gentle sex. And there are moments for a good spank in the butt."

Well ain't he the bee's knees...


Enough of this crazy talk, let's remember Little Ricky Martins the way he was...

Celebrity Fit Club's Psychos

What a vast array of shame. VH1's Celebrity Fit Club seems to have gone to character casting for their participants. What are these guys? The crazy and potential misanthropes who provide hours of entertainment...



Daniel Baldwin's stint on the Celebrity Fit Club was a real humdinger. In 1998 he overdosed in a motel room. The years following were quiet on the career front. For his season of CFC Baldwin would have been a strong leader, if he wasn't stoned out of his goard. He was addicted to a few things, Oxycontin was one of them. During the "weigh ins" he was a choleric presence, a general, dishelved mess.

An Oddity: I remember after seeing him weave and bob in and out of consciousness, he was still asked to weigh in. Yeah after a night of looking like he was smoking crack rock, that's the most important thing, weighing in...

Given his managerial track record of leading ball teams into the World Series, it was no question Busey would be tapped as captain for his season's team. One problem: Gary Busey is crazy. We aren't talking peculiar or eccentric, Gary's bona fide nuts.

Best Moment: Nothing special really. Just hearing Gary talk is a joy and a clear indication of an insanity that's so pronounced you can almost get a contact from it.


Willie Aames- I've got to say it was a shame and pity to see Tommy Bradford carrying on in such a foul manner. His Celebrity Fit Club stint was filled with threats, that whiny voice and intonations of physical violence. Willie is also known as the popular "Bibleman." Aames was the epitome of not getting with the program as he brazenly slammed the door in the face of an exercise guru hired to help him. I find it fascinating that Aames created Bibleman and yet he's still an ass...

Best Scene: Aames had a lot of them. The silliest had to be when he saluted resident loudmouth/jackass Harvey Walden. Willie served our country with distinction by not serving.

Jeff Conaway- Tell me this wasn't pitch perfect casting. A disappointing yet spot-on amalgam of the show's more f'ed contestants. But then again Bobby Wheeler is cutting out his own niche From his ability to moon his fellow teammates at will to his frightening mood swings, Conaway is the show's moral center. He also appears on the show way loaded and he blames it all on Benadryl, that deadly drug that goes in your veins...


The horror...


Update: Jeff Conaway left the show to enter into rehab. That's a great place for tons of rap sessions, detox and to get your head on straight. What? Spoiler alert, Conaway will be replaced by Gunnar Nelson one of the 4 Nelson twins.

Flavor of Love

When did VH1 go so horribly wrong? Was it "Late World With Zach" or I Love the '80s Part 15? Anyway it's come to this, "the Flavor of Love." The set up is simple, it's a bachelor type show featuring Public Enemy's Flavor Flav. Tell me this was remotely possible in say, 1989. Flash up a decade or so and he's a catch? Come on now...

Despite his partial grasp on reality, it's a total Lowered Expectations fest to see him traipsing around in a smoking jacket and a Viking helmet in an attempt to be bon vivant. It's mind boggling to decipher excatly what breakdown in entertainment and reality caused this to happen. You know what else is shocking? Women with straight faces acting like he's a keeper. Again, I'm no Billy Dee Williams but the very idea...

Like all Bachelor shows, a lot of the women are psycho circuses in their own right. Of course being a jerkazoid, Flav sent a few of the hotter ones packing during the first clock ceremony. The remaining ones? They're totally insane. Names and nicknames all blur into one desperate woman vying for the attention of a Brokedown Bachelor. Excuses, chemistry and clap trap about destiny aside, Flavor Flav has too much baggage to be "set up."


An Idiot's Take: Well if he's really looking, I'd say the best person for Flavor Flav is a woman who doesn't go on a show trying to date Flavor Flav.

Grade: C- It's bad but not "Joey" bad so I can't complain that much...

Ted Koppel Joins Pop Culture Idiot

Now some good news. As it turns out Ted Koppel isn't going the Discovery Channel as touted in a "bogus" story He's going to join me and just might be the host of a television program, we'll see...



FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE


A little more than a month after retiring from a 42-year career at ABC News, Ted
Koppel is diving back into journalism with a multiyear agreement to produce work and do blog entries for a new enterprise entitled, "Jason Elias: Pop Culture Idiot."


Terms of the deal aren't known. It's clear that Jason Elias's worth is down to pennies so this is obviously a labor of love for the newsman. In an interview Wednesday afternoon, Koppel said Pop Culture Idiot was an ideal place for him and he was amazed Elias was still walking the streets after losing his mind years ago.


Koppel will be managing editor, a job title he held on Nightline.
"You know, if Jason can get off his lazy ass and I can whip my addiction to hard core porn, we might actually go somewhere," Koppel joked. Elias entered the room, exchanged words and Koppel slapped Elias to the ground with an old-fashioned backhand. Charges are still pending...

Prince and Diamond and Pearl...

*Coughs* Overdone....


Yes I'm disconsolate. I've been thinking about Prince's Diamonds and Pearl. Often I wonder about them, in fact I was thinking about going on a talk show so I could meet them and stuff. Although they only lasted in Prince's orbit from 1991-92 they left a lasting impression.



Diamond and Pearl helped to steady Prince during the Diamond and Pearls era. Prince was reportedly looking for twins for his act with the New Power Generation. He couldn't find those "dancing" twins so he hired two similiar looking women and named them, Diamond and Pearl. Good news, they actually had real names, Lori Elle and Robia LaMorte. Prince and his girls appeared in videos like "Cream" "Get Off" and "Strollin'."


Unlike other acts, these two gals seemed like they were relegated to "set dressing" and dancing. Well that's not excatly true. This was about the time when Prince decided to "button it up" during the promotion of Diamond and Pearls. LaMorte ably stepped in and answered the questions Prince, well, just couldn't. Some might say the Prince's act got a wee bit tacky during this time and Diamond and Pearl were the pretty faces of an increasingly odd franchise. But then again, that's just being petty, ass-less pants were all the rage...

Found: Robia LaMorte is working as an actress and Lori Elle is working behind the camera. Prince is still Prince...

A clip from ABC's 1991's hit special "Doin' The Stroll With Robby Benson..."

Pop Culture Idiot Achiever Of The Minute: Ernie Hudson

There's a guy with a tons of talent, he's a kind man and someone I'd like to salute. His initials are Ernie Hudson. Hudson has carved a great niche for himself as a character actor. If I had a choice, I'd say Ernie does his best work as a professional guy. You know, the warden, the principal and or the counselor. This is Hudson's deal, but there's often a catch. At this point we don't know if Ernie's going to use his powers for good or evil. There's often an overlap--and that's hilarious.


Of course we saw that in the Substitute. Ernie played Principal Claude Rolle. Rolle seemed like he would be an asset to any school system. That is until we saw that he was a revolting criminal letting the Kings of Destruction run the school/asylum. He made Tom Berenger's job that much harder. I remember when I saw that movie I was hoping that Hudson would play variations of that same role. Frankly as bad as he was in the Substitute, I wanted him to escape justice. You know, for the sequels...


I recently saw Hudson's work in the Lifetime Movie, Fighthing The Odds: The Marilyn Gambrill Story. And no Ernie didn't wear a shawl and play Gambrill. The lovely Jami Gertz played the lead role. As for Ernie he played her colleague Perry Beasley. Sadly for me, Hudson played a good character throughout. I've got to say while I like seeing kids excel at their studies, I also like to see Ernie Hudson doing reprehensible things. My order wasn't processed this trip. Hudson as Beasley was a pure gem, offering advice, being a role model and even dancing in a Santa Claus suit. I was sickened...


More trouble for the Substitute, that's a pic of Claude Rolle's twin brother Cedrick...