Thursday, November 27, 2014

The Continuing Saga of the Today Show

 What's going on with your Today show? It's like a war zone. As you know, I'm on the inside track of information and I'll break down the latest for my fellow dyslexics.

In the year of Mitt Romney 2012 my beloved Ann Curry was sent "on assignment." They said Today's ratings were falling off. The Today Show then gave Curry's job to Savannah Guthrie. Within the last two years, the ratings really haven't improved. In 2013, the Today Show started a "special" 9 o' clock broadcast where Matt Lauer and Savannah Guthrie both get out of dodge and are replaced by Willie Geist, Natalie Morales, Tamron Hall and Al Roker. This is  a more informal setting with Roker often leading the conversation with unfunny jokes and an increasingly perfunctory weather broadcast. It's fun! But the ratings aren't improving.

A matter of fact it seems that nothing can shake GMA from the top spot, not absences, exits or the fact that George Stephananopoulous is still there boring the world. In short, Today is stuck. Not surprisingly, someone wanted to make changes. According to reports, senior vp and GM, Jamie Horowitz took the bold step to attempt to cure some rating ills--he wanted to boot Geist, Guthrie and demote Miss Natalie Morales. Talk about spring cleaning! Of course this wouldn't do for some especially since Guthrie (back from her 2 year pregancy) had just returned. While people accepted the news as hard but fair--some didn't want to hear it (like Matt Lauer.) You know what happened next? Horowitz got canned so that means his plans were erased as if they were written on an old-timey blackboard on wheels.

Uh Oh Not Finished Yet- All told, that would have been three absences and three less eggs to fry, but the news isn't going to tell itself. Oh no. In fact Horowitz wanted Josh Elliot to take Geist's slot and wanted Hoda Kotb (Kathie's caregiver) to move up to the 9' o clock. Al Roker? Well Horowitz wanted him gone, G-O-N-E gone. Also around the time of the proposed axings, Roker lit his thermometer on his kitchen stove, did a lot of coughing and called out sick. Al Roker acting like a big kid!

Grade *** It's so bad, it's good!

Monday, November 24, 2014

The Queen Latifah Show- Canceled!!

The Queen Latifah Show- Canceled! ! Oh hi. Did you hear the news? The Queen Latifah Show was canceled. Now I know this is a shock but this news will make sense in time. Matter of fact, I think this tragedy will bring us together as we remember--the great times like, like....

There were none. In fact I'm shocked that people are surprised about this news. I'm not. You want to know why it was canceled? It sucked.  The Queen Latifah Show is an awful show. It's leaden, pointless and practically without joy. Of all of the things she's skilled at, rapping is still the best, acting's next. Her singing is acceptable, her talk show hosting skills are nil.

At its best, the Queen Latifah Show was like repressed version of Ellen. Talk show hosts have to give a little of themselves with their life, their interior workings like Kelly Ripa's kid stories, Regis's minutiae or Michael Strahan's amiability. As a host, Latifah was basically a dead-end street. As a person who's been in the business for nearly 30 years rarely has there been a performer so remote and so intent to get away from her true skills: Rapping and acting.

Hilariously, Queen Latifah had a chance to get big ratings a month before the plug was pulled. In October, Bill Cosby was reporting to make an appearance to bore the world yet again. Bill Cosby's been in the news lately--and that brings viewers. It didn't happen. Days later the spin changed and the word was that Cosby canceled his appearance. Yeah right. Anyway, The Queen Latifah Show continue to air until March 2015.

Grade **

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Mercy Killings: Kill Me and My TV: Reviews of the View, Who Wants to Be a Millionaire and The Real.

Oh hi. Can you believe I'm back! Guess what? I hate even more things now, including--television.

Who Wants to Be a Millionaire- You know it's end timez when this guy is hosting the show. Let's face it, Regis Philibin was no brain trust. Meredith Vieira did a passable job. Fats Domino hosted for a bit and now it's Terry Crews's turn. You know white people have had it. They can't even watch this without "one of them" hosting it. And you know Crews doesn't know a heck of a lot so it's a godsend that the answers are on cards. Just like that fool Alex Trebek. Skip it!

Grade **

 The View- Remember them? The last time we talked Bill Geddie got drop kicked off the air and was replaced by Rachel Maddow Show producer Bill Wolfe. Isn't that a damn shame? They want to "improve the program" and not be so damn dumb. In the spirit of that the new hosts include Rosie O' Donnell, a Republican Lady and one of my faves Rosie Perez. I like the mix of people--and from an aesthetic view, the show looks great. What's the rub? Rosie O' Donnell and PST suffering View vet Whoopi Goldberg reportedly hate one another. Now it's that a shame. I bet Rosie O' Donnell, Rosie Perez and Whoopi Goldberg could have made a heck of an awful bad movie circa 1994. I'm saddened we didn't get that chance. As for the show, it's much better.

Grade *** 1/2

The Real-The Real? This is really bad. This is a talk chat program that features five women, Tamar Braxton, Tamara Mosley Mowry, Loni Love, Adrienne Baillon, and Jeannie Mai. You know what this basically is, a loud ass version of the View.

I tried to give this show a chance, but it's too much eye-rolling, gum popping, neck gyrations for me. And really when Loni Love is the "sane" one--you've got problems.


Part 2: To be honest, I don't know who a lot of these women are. I do know I've seen Tamar Braxton on other television programs making an ass out of herself. Adrienne Ballon. Tamara Mowry-Housley. I've heard of Tamara Mosley, Tamara Mowry too, but who's Housley? Who's Housey?