Kind of Watching It TV: Conversations With Michael Eisner

Blowhard alert!!!!


Lucky me, I got a chance to watch an episode of Michael Eisner's talk show. I know Eisner subbed for Charlie Rose but there's no need for this. Eisner of course was the head of ABC and Disney and recently got shown the door after his mistakes caught up with him. Given the collective short memory, "Mike" has recast himself--as a potentially interesting person. So far, it's not taking. With the glint in his shifty eyes, Eisner gamely takes on a role where actual talk-show hosts have failed. The result is a bit mixed. Shocker. For certain, Eisner's no ball of fire, probably never was and that bitter truth is now clear for all of us to see.


Goldie Hawn- Turns out during his time at Paramount, Eisner turned down Private Benjamin. After a few laughs, Eisner then pointed out that Paramount did do, "Foul Play." Good to know. Hawn did most of the work here giving Mike a breather as she was charming and told somewhat interesting stories. Eisner was just there trying to prop up his often goofy decisions and trying to save his pride.

Grade B-


Victim No 2- Regis Philbin also fell by. I couldn't really listen to much of this. Oddly enough, Regis canned the grouchy old man act he's honed so well with Kelly Ripa and was actually interesting again. I never did find out the reason why Eisner made the boneheaded move to saddle the public with 4 nights of "Millionaire." Honestly a true review for this isn't possible. The collective sight of Eisner, Regis and the mere mention of Joey Bishop made me zone out. Sorry, but that's a potent mix.

Grade B


Bette Midler also appeared in this episode. I don't know if Eisner did Jazzercise before this, but he seemed more relaxed. Engaging? Of course not. Bette Midler seemed to be especially present, after all Disney did revive her career. Eisner even slid a comment about Bette's crazy ex-boyfriend. She didn't seem to care, I guess he was really crazy. Although these two had a nice chemistry, this fundamentally didn't make sense either. Despite his attempts at being bon-vivant, Eisner still has the baggage of Company Man, a decidedly prickish one at that.

Grade C+

The Show: B for Boring, hee hee hee...

American Idol: Finale Recap

Good news, I got a chance to see the American Idol finale, B- stuff all the way. Here's my recap...



So this is the winner huh? It's going to be fun seeing American Idol trying to reign that in. Taylor Hicks is a talented singer but make no bones about it, he's insane. He can pretty much stop the hobo/jumping freight trains act too, his dad's a doctor. Soul Patrol!








America made Katharine McPhee's grandma cry! Former Idol contestant Tamyra Gray consoles Kat's nanna. Really, Gray's a pretty young lady, there's got to be more going on than coasting on these AI fumes. What is she now? A good-will ambassador or something? Oh come on...








Clay Aiken appeared to show the folks how it's done. Well, I think that's him. Got to say he looks a wee bit different like he's been on Extreme Makeover: Face Edition. Let's hope it's just a case of heavy makeup and weird hair, who wants to see that mug "remixed."











Live From Madame Tussaudes...Prince made a surprise appearance at the finale. He was supposed to be a guest earlier in the season but didn't want to deal with the kids. You know what's worse? Talking to Ryan Seacrest.









Look, it's Katharine McPhee. Despite her often fake smiles, you know she has to be burning, losing to that oddly gray freak show. Really, McPhee lost because she's a streaky singer and her performances weren't that great in the final two competition.











The Tears of a Clown when everyone's around. I'd love to know what turned David Hasselhoff into a puddle of goo. Reportedly Hasselhoff started to bawl when Gray Davis was crowned the winner of this monstrosity. Just a note, when David Hasselhoff cries tears of joy, I do too. Excuse me, we're just so close...




Thanks to Raven 56706 at DVD Talk for my new screen saver...


You know it's an odd night when Mary J. Blige actually stays in tune. As for Elliott Yamin's gesture? Oh please...

"Interesting" TV Info!

Sorry I've been a gloomy gus, me and Mr. Clean had a falling out. Just a note, I do not want to hear from him, he can see me--in court! In any event, there's a ton of stuff people don't seem to care about. Guess what, I do--I'm such a maverick...

Case Closed...


Conviction: Unlike ER, Conviction doesn't seem to be coming back. You don't have to be Sylvia Browne to call that one. For this episode, two hours were smashed together. For it's last entry, Conviction served up some Courthouse/Equal Justice type drama. Long short short, two guys ended up waving guns and talking sass to our beloved characters as they held the Courthouse, hostage! Oh, the drama! Viewers not only OD's on Big Dumb Jim Steele, they also saw Eric Balfour's character profess his love for Julianne Nicholson's character, I cried as a result.





Julianne Nicholson, I've got her name scribbled in my Trapper Keeper!


A Promising Beginning, A Shoulder Shrugging Crescendo: This is what Dick Wolf said in the beginning, "...Since 'Conviction' will be a 'charactercedural,' we will be dealing extensively with characters' back stories and personal lives. I am delighted with the extraordinary cast we have assembled, which will give the show depth and emotional intensity."

Me: Phooey...






Ya'll ain't ready for John Leguizamo on network-prime time. He's been a favorite of mine since 1991's Hanging With The Home Boys. John appeared as a guest star (not cast member) during ER's 2005-06. At first, the Victor Clemente character seemed "normal." It was only a matter of time before ER did the obvious and made Leguizamo's character "wild-out." And what a scene it was, it was Vintage Psycho Leguizamo--and it turned into pure comedy.







In a related note, ER did the obvious and killed off Dr. Gallant. You know they've been trying to find a way to do that for at least 4 years. Well, I hope they're satisfied...












During the recent finale of Desperate Housewives, Mike the Plumber, played by James Denton wasn't left in the best of shape. He was walking across the street when he was struck by a vechicle driven by Crazy Kyle MacLachlan. Wow! I'm shocked that his supposedly loyal fan base hasn't said a peep about his plot twist. They probably don't care. But I would, James "Jamie" Denton's been around a long time, and that DH gig is a good one. Well, it's a darn sight better than Denton's whiffs like LA Med and Threat Matrix. Let Denton keep talking about the show's "problems" he'll be on the breadline next to me before he knows it...

Pop Culture Idiot Achiever Of The Minute: Mr. Clean

I didn't really need any arm twisting to salute this hero. If there's one thing I like, it's things in an orderly fashion. You know who else likes that? Mr. Clean. Since 1958 Mr. Clean has become an icon/mentor. We see that he's a man who is physically fit and neat freak. Those are attributes to aspire to.



I'm profoundly proud to have this blog to celebrate a man whose achievements have been forgotten in this hedonistic, lascivious society. On the right is a pic of Mr. Clean showing us how it should be done. Mr. Clean aka Mr. Clean has always had a nice and neat appearance. Mr. Clean is a great guy, he's never had even the hint of a scandal.

Oh yeah, that's right...

Kind of Watching It: CD Collection Infomercials

Oh hi, I was just trying to buy a 30 year old bottle of grape Tang off Ebay. Wish me luck, I'm thristy. In any event, these are a few commercials I can't avoid. I'm getting scared now, I see them almost every night...


Rick Springfield: 80's Gold- Is this a revisionist, oddly peppy set or a sublimal attempt to make the '80s seem fun? I can't decide. Whatever it is, it will be difficult to top this set of raging steamers. Universal oversaw this collection of pop slanted hits and of course Rick Springfield was a natural pick as host for this. You know this might have worked--if Springfield either as overly sanguine or close to tears. His co-host here is someone named Kate Stone. I have no idea who she is, perhaps she was included because she does look like someone you went to high school with.

A Sad Confession: You know I can stand the Cars "Drive" and Spandau Ballet's "True." Together on the same set? Lethal...





Time-Life R&B Stuff- You'd think that it would be fun to watch an informercial on music from a genuine, talented artist. Think again. Peabo Bryson also made an odd commercial selling yet another silly music set. I've got to admit, this extended clip is fun. Bryson and some woman are sitting in some "cozy" setting where either a night of woo or an intervention is going to take place. The background music? The same ol' stuff that's been in my collections for years...


Ultimate Love Songs- Oh look, I Saved The Best For Last. With your hostesses Vanessa Williams and Anne Marie Howard, we get another set of potential coasters. This collection is especially syrup-laden. The good part? The commercial. Williams and Howard have a warm camaraderie and the lightening was total softcore porn.


The Songs: This 8 CD 132 song set has the nerve to include Chicago's "You're The Inspiration." That's just wrong...

Vanessa fake calling Rick Fox so she can run off for some "alone time" with me...

TV Questions Answered, Kind Of

Oh hi, I've been snooping around people's sites. I'm stealing stuff too! Good times, good times. Anyway I thought I'd answer a few of the questions I see people are asking. Here's a guarantee: Nothing that you may need to know will be answered here...


Would you take a look at that? The kids from Conviction just sent me an email trying to find out what I know about their program. Conviction at "press time" is "on the bubble." It's half of a good show and it can't drag it past CBS's Friday night corn fest, Numb3rs.

Prediction: If Conviction is cancelled look for Dick Wolf to shit a brick.

Update: He's probably shitting said brick. Status: Cancelled.



Close To Home- This started out with great guns--and then winded down to a bunch of hooey. Serves folks right. During the initial spin, someone called star Jennifer Finningan a cross between Patricia Wettig and Jodie Foster. I've got to disagree, those gals are interesting.

The Big, Big Problem: It's simple, viewers have to watch Kimberly Elise through tons and tons of BS, it's not worth it. Really.

A Guess: This may be back or it won't be back.

Update: Oh goody, it's back....




You know the hallmarks of a show on its last legs. Viewers can pick up an exasperation between the characters. During this time, often history is rewritten to such an extreme, it's clearly a desperate strategy to eek out more storylines. Do you know what spells the end the most? When a show's no longer funny.

Tons Of Buildup, Little Returns: There sure was a lot of hoopla to start off this season. Yeah, this show got back to Monday nights--a good 6 years too late.

Too Much of the Spence and the Other Guy: If King of Queens fans know something, it's that too much Spence and Gary makes this show very, very irritating. In the past season, we've got a lot of those two--at the expense of, well, just about everything.

The Bottom Line: I also heard that contract negotiations are part of the deal too. It seems like James and Remini reportedly want more money...



Update: As James tries to start his film career, this will be back as a mid-season replacement with a 13 episode committment.






Less Than Perfect made a return to the lineup. That's great news. It's rare a show flames out so fast, but this one did. When this returned after a 25 year hiatus, Eric Roberts was out and Patrick Warbutton's role increased. That's reason enough never to tune in again.

What Went Wrong: This is easy, like Just Shoot Me, there was too much rancor. Eric Roberts was the one person who was remotely believable here.

Prediction: Burned off ep's/cancellation

Technorati Tags: Less Than Perfect Cancelled, Less Than Perfect, Soul-Numbing, Less Than Perfect, It Sure Is...

Status: Done



Frasier-My street team has given me an exclusive, reportedly Fraiser will not be back next season. As you know, since the shows appeared on Lifetime, the cast has run out of ideas to such a point, they're faithfully redoing old episodes. I've got to say, I can't even tell the difference...

Tom Cruise: Dancing Machine

Shortly before Tom Cruise ignited a new dancing craze...


Oh hi, I was just ready to "give myself up to the authorities" when I saw this clip. I like it so much, I kept it at its original dimensions. This is from when Tom Cruise appeared on 106 and Park to promote Mission Impossible 3. I've got to say I never knew Tom Cruise was such a dancing machine, watch him get down, watch him get down, as he do do do--you get the idea.







Recap: Wow! Tom's got happy feet. See that's what I call real dancing not just shaking yourself like you've lost your mind. A lot of folks could take a few lessons from Tom's Smooth Moves, I am and in fact I'm practicing those dance steps right now.

Lean back
Do Something or Other With Your Hands
Kinda Dance
DON'T Move Your Feet
Barely Move Your Legs
Look Embarrased
Look Mock Embarrassed
Freestyle...

Able Assistance: Just like MC Hammer had like a hundred people dancing with him, Tom Cruise had a couple of folks dancing that new hotness with him on the good foot. Check out Laurence Fishburne, he's not exactly Shabadoo Quinones either. He's doing "The Nod" and I bet he totally would have done "The Tilt" if time allowed. And I've got to say "hats off" to Ving Rhames and his "Hat Dance." Kids all across the globe are going to be doing that one...

Shows I'm Almost Done With

Hi. That's my friend Fonzie. He's jumping a shark. In pop culture speak, to "jump the shark" means to do something so silly and irreparable to a program; your show may not recover. You know what? These shows are really getting there...





I was a big fan of "Cold Case" when it debuted in 2004. Then I just got tired. The problems for me started when Sarah Joy Browne was cast as Josie Sutton--and then was canned. She was replaced by Tracie Thoms--and her character was singing. Oh dandy. I don't think this show needed another character.









On second thought, she's a lovely woman--let's give her a chance.


The Breaking Point: There's too many really cold, cold cases. I'm sick of the overdone episodes in black and white. The show has also declined in its casting of the actors in the "crimes." I'm seeing tons of hammy, transparent acting--and a lot of BS.







Extreme Makeover Home Edition: Jumping the shark again? This show is either great or horrendous. In a recent episode, Ty Pennington was absent due to helping folks in the Gulf. His replacement? Kermit the Frog. Oddly enough, the transition was smooth, I found Kermit a loving but firm team leader. That wasn't the worse of it. Some kid apparently liked monkeys and Extreme Makeover got a "real" Monkee, Davy Jones. Let's be real, there's no way a 7 year old is going to know who in the heck he is. After mugging for the camera, Jones and Paul Di Meo shared a song. I wish I was there, they both would have been wearing chairs and guitars.


Problem Solved: Cut the skits and just keep on hammering.



The Tyra Banks Show. You know what? I find this show a bit depressing. I don't know why. Got to say right off the bat, Banks isn't excatly my go to gal for talk show entertainment. From her phony "serious" voice to her all but reveling in others "bad days" she comes off like a total jerk.


The Breaking Point: This had to be the "Teens Having Sex!" episode. I saw some geek going on about some party in Malibu were there was 15 mattresses and folks going at it. You know what that's called don't you? Friday night. And of course Tyra was looking shocked--like her business didn't/doesn't have "orgy's" and whatnot. And good lord, we all know she's not that innocent--nothing should shock her at this point, I mean really.

The Solution: Tough love--I'm just not going to watch, shine on that!

Prince's Ol' Ladies

Prince has been in cahoots with a large amount of women. I have to admire his record even though mine dwarfs in comparison. For every one woman he's romanced, I've gotten a firm no from 1,210.



Vanity Wow, if that don't beat all. Vanity of course was Prince's ol' lady in the early '80s. What a time they had to until Vanity left the Prince camp during the planning stages of "Purple Rain." Oops. Still looks wise, you really can't get much better looking than this, she makes Beyonce look like a little girl.

Rating: *****





Apollonia Kotero: Who could forget the plight of young Apollonia? She wanted nothing to do but make it in this business and Prince was "there for her." Although she was a replacement for Vanity in "Purple Rain" "Apples" has turned out to be so much more. In all candor, she's been the main attraction in many of my pleasant thoughts. Too much information? Oops!
Rating: ****1/2




Camille: Oops, mystery solved. In 1987 people were going on about a new Prince protégé Camille. We didn't see her, some thought she was the girl from the "Kiss" video. Nothing doing. "Camille" was actually Prince with his voice manipulated. Thankfully or not, Camille's album was scrapped. Darn...
Rating: I'm not rating this. But I think if given the right makeover, Camille would have been a nice looking lady. ***


Susannah Melvoin. Well, well, well. Melvoin is Wendy and Lisa's sister and was a member of The Family. Prince was reportedly engaged to Susannah in the '80s. I was always struck by the fact that she looked so much like Wendy. Well, twins are funny.

Rating: ****







Kim Basinger: You know, I wasn't that crazy about Prince's work on "Batman." Looks like it yielded a "friend" though. Going by the Elvis/Ann-Margaret theory, it's possible a continuing union with Basinger and Prince might have made him less, well, odd. He certainly seemed cooler when they were together and by "together" I mean boinking.


Rating: ****






Matye- Prince married Mayte in the late '90s, they've since divorced. Mayte is a hot looking woman. The problem? Prince's ideas for women seemed so insular at this point, Mayte's gifts were lost in a ton of his hooey. While we're at it, let's salute her service as Prince's translator during those days when speaking was such a chore...








Rating Docked a notch for this crying shame ***1/2