Goodwill Music Review

Oh hi. I've recently been in talks to join a leading entertainment magazine. Ahh that's a lie. This is what I've been doing, buying stuff from Goodwill!

This is clearly stuff from someone's collection. Certainly they were in a pile of mess but you know, it's kinda got the same slant. This is stuff I either bought, would have or forgot about it. I've got them all know. I'm so happy.



Patrice Rushen-Now (1984) This is one of my favorite Rushen albums and her last for Elektra/Asylum. This being from 1984, it's tech heavy, but it's also one of the more concise efforts from Rushen. I have the vinyl--and vinyl at this point was getting pretty atrocious, especially WEA's "efforts." By this point it was all about Dolby HX Pro in its airy, relatively early stages.

The Sound: The vinyl despite its flaws, sounds a bit better. The cassette has a flat, oddly non dynamic sound, like a cassette...


Jeffrey Osborne-Don't Stop (1984) It was actually a joy finding this. "Don't Stop" came off the heels of the classic, "Stay With Me Tonight." The commercial decline and diminishing quality makes this effort a bit hard to find. The fortunes of this effort seemed to be predicated on the title track and "The Borderlines." Guess what? Both of them still blow. The best on this "Let Me Know" and "Crazy 'Bout Cha" are unassuming hooky ballads that show off Osborne's baritone and George Duke's production skills.

The Sound: At this time, A&M got in cahoots with BASF to offer CHROME cassettes. The difference makes for a more "cleaner" though not necessarily better sound. That's pretty much the deal with A&M cassettes of the time.

Georgio-Sexappeal (1987) You know I was happy to find this one. I've been passing this by for 20 odd years. Georgio of course was the Motown recording artist who bared more than a passing musical resemblance to Prince. The music is pretty much the same thing, rudimentary, Prince-like grooves with Songs About Sex. That's what makes it great. The big hits here are "Lover's Lane" and "Tina Cherry." I don't know about anyone else but the profundities of "Sexappeal" and the World War III adverting "Bed Rock" always makes me choke back a sob.

The Sound: Motown's cassettes were made by MCA at this time. Ok--nothing great.

Smoke City-I Really Want You (1985) Oh, this the gem of the shopping excursion. Although this group released this effort on Epic Records, it's totally hard to find because it's barely remembered. This is best known for the single "Dreams" which is one of those yearning, potentially nauseating songs. Heh, I like it a lot. Despite that genre classic, this is pretty derivative stuff...


CBS Cassettes Are Horrible: I almost passed out seeing a CBS cassette of the time in this good shape. Yep, I'm a geek. Guess what? Despite being preserved, it still sounds like shit.



Dino-24/7 (1989) I have to admit, I do like synths of this era. Dino was an R&B/pop act who folks were calling the next KC of the Sunshine Band fame. While that didn't pan out, "24/7" is a strong, purely late '80s set. In an odd sense, 1989 musically helped me to actually like '80s music. Songs like "Never 2 Much of U" and the smooth "24/7" hold up extremely well. The big hit here is "I Like It."

Does It Sound Like Crap?: It's fine. The cassette was barely played. This has the flat yet reliable sound of cassettes from 89-93, nothing spectacular despite the Dolby HX Pro label. In the liners Dino says to "Keep pumpin' the fresh jams!!" Indeed...



Marcia Griffiths-Carousel (1990) I was always a fan of Marcia Griffiths. The original "Electric Boogie" is a thing of beauty. After years of notoriety as a popular though annoying dance, "Electric Boogie" got a 1990 recast. Boy, is it ever annoying. The groove is all but dissipated. Think that's bad? Get a load of "Electric Boogie (Dub Mix)" it's enough to make me pop my Xanax like so much Pez. God bless her, for reasons unknown, Griffiths also unearthed the always ghastly "Sugar Shack." Yeah, that's what I want to hear, a faux-reggae version of something from Jimmy Gilmer and the Fireballs.

The Sound: It's an early 1990's Island cassette, not distributed by Warner communications, sounds ok...

Four Kings Cancelled: Save Our Bad Shows!

The recently axed "Four Kings" made the diminutive Seth Green look that much shorter...

or..."There will be no more feigned laughter and camaraderie for you Four Kings, be gone!


Spoiler Alert. It looks like lovers of fine programming have been dealt a disappointment, the big hit "Four Kings" has been cancelled. I guess we've gotten selfish, we actually want our comedies to be funny. I'm not through with this show however. "Four Kings" officially joins the list of television shows I'm trying to get back via an aggressive letter writing campaign. Be forewarned, I'm using my fountain pen so I mean business.


Bodies of Evidence- Insiders have said that "Bodies of Evidence" is Clooney's favorite role and he'd love to come back. Not to toot my own horn but George sent me an email and basically stated, "Jason, my best work was when I played Ryan Walker on Bodies of Evidence..." Clooney is especially looking forward to working with Lee hoarsely again. But then again, who wouldn't.



Baywatch Nights- It seems that being a beloved person across the globe isn't enough for Mr. David Hasselhoff. He's been in the news lately. I know why he's such a gloomy gus; he wants Baywatch--Nights. Let's face it, the original show took a header as soon as they pushed Alexandra Paul out of the way. "Baywatch Nights" on the other hand is a show of untapped potential, more storylines. In fact, I've got my TV tuned for any "Baywatch Nights" showing I can get. I can't wait...


Ally- The world wasn't really ready for "Ally." It was a valiant try, but it was 8 episodes and done. This 30 minute editing nightmare existed in comedy form concurrently with the hit dramady, "Ally McBeal." Now I think we're prepared for such a novel concept. There's no need to actually make new shows, edit down those remaining ep's, put them out of sequence, we'll do the heavy lifting.


Making The Band/Making Crappy CD's.Is this show still on? In any event it hasn't been culturally significant in quite some time. Okay, it never was culturally significant. Instead of bringing in a batch of forgettable girl singers or funny-looking boy band wannabees, why not recruit from within. The next Making The Band should be a "band" of former "winners" battling it out to be the next uber disgusting entity. In my new and improved version it would include both P Diddy and Lou Perlman. There's got to be a place on the schedule where folks have to walk 25 miles for cheesecake and try to ignore one of Uncle Lou's creepy stares...

Will Katie Couric Leave Today Already?

Argh, tell me this isn't true. Reportedly Katie Couric just might be leaving the Today show for the CBS network anchor job. Say it isn't so! As pictured is Katie, Matt, Al and Ann, the names moronicly sung on that long-gone promo. I'll be devastated if any member of this stellar lineup leaves to "explore other opportunities." In any event, these are the people who could replace Couric.






Getting to see Campbell Brown on a regular basis isn't going to hurt anything. She's hot, smart as a whip and actually enjoyable to watch. Brown is presently the co-host of Weekend Today which is also known as "The Today My Local Affiliate Doesn't Ever Play."








If Brown is picked, Les Holt will be unable to perform his duties and will turn to stone.










Meredith Vieira-- Doesn't this make perfect sense--and talk about picking up where you left off. In recent years, Couric has become annoying. Good news, Meredith Viera has always been annoying--but she's actually interesting.

Pro: Of course if Vieira takes the Today show gig, she'll leave that pitiable insane asylum known as the View. Talk about an upgrade. Getting a solid, truly news based job and getting to leave Star Jones and Elisabeth Hasselback. Thinking about that makes me "excited."


Bob Schieffer- For years, Schieffer has connected with viewers with his life as a single mom. An especially sharing correspondent, we've seen Schieffer deliver children, battle alcoholism and of course do reports from Mars. For the Today Show, I think he's be a perfect fit.









Well there's an obvious choice. Ann Curry's seemingly been in line for this gig since David Hartman was on GMA. Here's a question? What's the hold up? She's been more talented than Couric, since forever and why this move wasn't made 4 or 5 years ago--is beyond me.

The Bad News: The move hasn't been made in all of these years. Not cool. According to a rumor Couric and Curry aren't buds and she doesn't want Curry to get the job.

Annoying...

Fun With Vincent Price

After seeing Bill Hader's Vincent Price impression on Saturday Night Live, I had to find the genuine article. And how sad is that? Around this era Price straddled the line between camp and ghoul like nobody's business. Here's a couple of his clips as a pitchman.

We see that Vincent is a little slow on the uptake. He's just tired out from a day of startling and strangling people. On this clip we see how much of a pro Vince is, he drops the novice act and hits his marks like a champ. Well not really. At this point, Price could do this stuff in his sleep--but then again, the task to be spontaneous does seem arduous here. I've got to say, I'm embarrassed for him in the second spot, how silly did this stuff sound.





Milk does a body good. You know what else does a body good? Not eating with Vincent Price. I was back there then and having a meal with Vincent Price never a good idea?. What a pitchman he is here, with that high-pitched whine with those droll, deep intonations. He's so Vincent Pricey and I mean that in a good way. Despite his grandfatherly overtones, Price's creepy factor never leaves and I bet the milk, the swiss cheese that whole sandwich is tarnished with a bunch of "special ingredients" he made in his "drawing room." And I've got to ask, "Where's Melissa?"


Editor's Note: After seeing one too many pics of ol' Vince, I scared myself. That is all...

Didn't Want To Watch It TV: Conviction

Oh hi, good news, I've just got community service. During my time with my parole officer I got a chance to watch "Conviction." NBC is really pushing this and its on the website. Frankly, the "youthful" slant makes me want to hurl, but I digress. In any event, they've got "precious" write-ups on each of these characters. Ain't that sweet? The parts on here in italics are snippets from those bios. The rest of this BS is mine...


Eric Balfour as Nick Peluso...Considered to be a good lawyer by his Deputy District Attorney, Peluso just needs to reign in his personal life. It's tough to balance the social demands of being a hot twentysomething in New York City (the drinking, the women, the gambling and the late nights...

What's Up With The Moustache: I mean really, they've been trying to make Eric Balfour a star for a while, this may or might not help. And to be honest, most of the characters Balfour's played probably spell lawyer with an "o" so it's a strech that he's suddenly a Legal Beagle. And oh yeah, everyone hates Eric Balfour.




Julianne Nicholson as Christina Finn...Despite being a two-year veteran of the DA's office, Christina Finn has managed to keep her youthful optimism for the job...

McQueasy Moments: "Young." Have they rammed this aspect down own throats enough times? We get it, Sam Waterson's not on this one. Finn is basically the best character here and if you like watching Julianne Nicholson--you're stuck watching this calculating, steaming load.

Part 2: Although Nicholson is great at bumbling, self-effacing characters, I have a feeling the character's neurosis is going to be brutal in this context. On one episode Balfour's character told her how beautiful she is. Yes, the sleaziest lawyer ever tells a gal she's hot, how romantic and insulting.


J. August Richards as Billy Desmond...Ambitious, brilliant and eager to maintain his 23-0 record, Desmond is a three-year vet with 15 felony convictions under his belt. Book smart, versus his coworker Peluso's innate ability, Desmond likes to keep his eye on the prize.


Explanation: In short, way boring. This character seems especially poorly written. As shows like Grey's Anatomy can actually have black males as three dimensional characters, I don't think "Conviction" can do it--well they sure didn't do it in the shows I've seen. The best they came up with was his character setting up Finn on a blind date. That's pitiful.


Anson Mount as Jim Steele- Steele has a quiet way about him that belies his true wit and intelligence. Charged with leading young, green ADAs into "battle", Steele's calm, cool and collected demeanor...


Retread: Oh, that's enough. I can't believe L&O went all "Courthouse" on us with this stolid, bland character. Have characters like this ever worked? Dick Wolf should be ashamed!


Stephanie March as Alexandra Cabot...Alexandra Cabot originally joined the "Special Victims Unit" as the Assistant District Attorney overseeing the squads arrets...She has now reemerged to guide a new crop of ADAs through the hectic and often dangerous New York legal system...

The Crone: Got to love the slant here, March is pretty much the pegged as the older, more experienced lady--at 32. Gag. The girl who replaced March on L&O SVU is really annoying.


Jordan Bridges as Nick Potter...As Nick Potter, a lawyer from an "old money" family of prominence, Bridges leaves his comfortable and cushy job at a private law firm to join the chaotic New York district attorney's office...

Who Are They Talking About: "Bridges" leaves? How about Nick Potter? See they don't even know who they're talking about. I can't believe people are writing characters like this anyway. Heh, he looks like Fred Savage.


Milena Govich as Jessica Rossi... Rossi comes from the tough side of the tracks. If she didn't become a lawyer, she just might have wound up on the other side of the law--alongside a few of her family members.

What Else Is On?: Rossi will be a character to test viewers patience. There's simply no two ways about it, you'll either not like her or not like her.


Grade: C

Yanni's On The Loose!

Sorry I've been away. I've been named as part of the "dream team" for Yanni's defense. Between you and me, I've got no experience, just a seersucker suit, a briefcase and a bunch of vaguely legalistic jargon I picked up from watching Matlock. Wish me luck.

Here's the deal. It seems like the World's Greatest Entertainer wasn't exactly having a fun filled evening with his girlfriend. In fact, Yanni reportedly came out swinging like he was Roberto Duran. His lady friend was packing her belongings but Yanni doubled back and took her clothes out of the closet. Sadly, it was reported that Yanni shook her like a rattle and jumped her too. Oh no, not our Yanni--yes, yes our Yanni. And it's been reported that Yanni spend a night in jail. Tell me somebody wouldn't shit a two ton brick looking over and seeing Yanni as their cellmate. Talk about being Punk'd.


I'm going to say that the person pictured in that dreadful mugshot isn't Yanni. Looks like him, but Yanni has longer hair and a moustache, as pictured. Who is that guy in the mug shot? Whoo, scary--Yanni has an imposter, I'm tellin'!

A Promise: If this doesn't go to trial, I'm still going to try the case, I'm just that dedicated...

Mr T.'s Commandments

Despite being self-aggrandizing and nosy, Mr. T delivers a genre classic: A so-so album from someone named Mr. T. Admittedly this is on the didactic side with Mr. T barking orders to potentitally nervous kids, but that's what they needed, to be yelled at, damn it!

Important Song Reviews...

"The One and Only Mr. T" proves that the line between this loud mouth BS and legitimate and now sought after '80s R&B is really thin. Really. Despite T's heavy handed delivery, this works--and the fact is frightening.

"Don't Talk To Strangers" with its '80s R&B quiet storm underpinnings makes you want to talk to strangers. What an enticing arrangement even as T raps, "You keep that door locked/That's what it's for." Heh, I beg to differ.

"No Dope No Drugs" has T's adding rock n' roll guitar to entice those stoners who put aluminumm foil on their windows and huff gasoline. That funky beat and the crazy knowledge is subliminal like too. I don't need dope!

The rocking, "You Got To Go Through It" brings to mind those summery '80s grooves of yore. And by yore I mean the days when I actually gave a damn about stuff. In any event, those tricky synth riffs and T's "profundities" mesh well here.

The Bad: I actually like this. I'm beyond therapy....

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