Catching Up With TV Friends and Oh Yeah, Al Roker Sharted

I decided to catch up with my friends, it's been so long...

Ann Curry It looks like Ann Curry is trying to leave us, ya'll. It looks like her role as a globe-trotting reporter is only equaling one appearance a year. It did start out promising though. Curry’s first post-exit appearance with NBC Nightly News with Brian Wilson Brian Williams. It wasn’t a happy occasion. Both Williams and Curry were out in the field covering some tragedy. Curry first appeared wearing a French maid costume like the one Sabrina Duncan wore on that episode of Charlie's Angels. In the later remote Ann was wearing some big ass David Ruffin sized specs too. I liked them...


 
That's pretty much it, Ann's doing cameo appearances like this is all a Spelling/Goldberg production. Did you see her interview with the cast of the Hobbit? Nope. So much so Ann is looking to get out of her NBC contract. Jeff Zucker is over at CNN and is looking to give Curry a high profile gig over at that network. Reportedly, she wants Anderson Cooper's old slot. He's not on there anymore is he? He is? Oops...

Amy Robach- You remember Amy Robach? Really? Ain't that something. When she first left NBC and Lester Holt's loving embrace, people thought she was nuts. She wasn't. In fact Amy's leaving NBC turned out to be a way for people to see her on days beside Saturday morning.

In fact, Amy's been putting in a lot of work at ABC. She appeared on Good Morning America as the lead anchor and I even saw her doing a news report on World News Tonight. Now tell me something. In all those years of being on NBC,struggling, cleaning up Matt Lauer's sick off the toilets, did you ever see her co-anchoring Today in a week day? Never. 

Al Roker- It's my sad pleasure to review this recent, revolting activity. It's become clear that Our Al Roker has barrel/bowel problems. In March of 2002, Al underwent the taxing weight loss surgery. In hi-fluent medical terms it makes the stomach size "way smaller." This weight loss aid seemed to help and hinder Al Roker. Later that year when visiting the White House, Al Roker sharted in his pants. As he explained on Dateline, he thought he passed gas but it was "something x-tra." Terry-fied, he ran to the bathroom to remove his painted bloomers and held this secret shame for nearly 13 years. From now on Al wears the scarlet P: For pooping pants!





The Today Show- Zomebody gone. I've been watching the 3rd hour of Today and I've noticed a change. Guess what? Every time I turn over to the 9 o' clock hour on NBC, I see Natalie Morales, Shittin' Al Roker and Willie Geist. Willie Geist? Where's In The world Is: Matt Lauer? 

Unlike NBC's suspecious signing of Ryan Seacrest, I didn't expect to see Geist on the program this much and so soon. But here he is. At 8:59, it's like Matt Lauer disappears into thin air and is replaced by a taller, more likeable human being. Really, "losing" an anchor isn't news. Back in olden day, Meredith Vieira used to pack up her cares and woes and leave due to an insane clause per Who Wants to Be A Millionaire? But where does Matt have to go? Nowhere.I wonder if he takes a cut for that loss of time. At this point they are probably paying him--to keep his damn mouth shut!

Amy Robach Leaves NBC and the Today Show

You know, I liked watching Amy Robach on the television. Robach and her weekend "Today" show host Lester Holt logged in a lot of hours together. I made it appointment TV to see Amy on Saturday, Sunday, whatever hell day she showed up on. Sadly I missed her announcement: She's leaving "Good Morning Beantown"  to take a job with ABC News.Traitor! Imagine Amy having the nerve enough to leave a sinking ship to save her journalistic career. She's so selfish. 


 At this point, I can't think of Amy Robach (of the Sears and Robach fortune) without thinking about Lester Holt. You know Holt got a shudder in his bones after hearing his work wife was going to back it in. To soften the blow, Amy took Lester to an old-timey McDonalds, you know, with Mayor McCheese statute out front? Reportedly Lester took the news like a big boy and then proceeded to choke on his Apple Pie as Amy drove away.


Thankfully Amy's departure wasn't a week long extravaganza. Amy announced her intention on her last show, Msy 19th 1975. Through the clips of her 9 years there we got to see how existentially boring charming she is and how time has wreaked havoc on Lester Holt's hairline. To be honest, I was a river of tears seeing Amy playing ping-pong, climbing into Mount St. Helens, and other mundane activities.. After the clips were played, Amy boo hooed, brought her kids on stage and tossed it to a break one last time. As for Lester, he should he used to this. He seen everyone from Bess Myerson to Campbell Brown out the door. Is he the reason they've all left? Is it his breath? Heh heh heh.

The Fallout: Minimal. While Holt seemed to like Robach better, I think Jenna Wolfe might be available on Saturdays. You know Jenna gets on everybody's nerves and it will be fun to see if she gets to torture us even more!

Meredith Vieira Leaves Today: A Recap

Oh hi. My staff gave me the horrible news that our friend Meredith Vieira has left Today. After alarming the flophouse with my sobs of agony, I decided to watch the episode show  that Today created to send Meredith off. I'm so sad....

 After a reflective hour of clips and whatnot, they primed the pump by having Carole King sing "You've Got a Friend." Something from Tapestry really? That's made people feel nostalgic about two weeks after its release.I'm glad they didn't get James Taylor on there, that would have really made me shit a brick. Anyway, after a few drinks, Matt Lauer led Meredith to the piana and he pretended to play and led her to the street by a bunch of NBC employees.The song they used? America's new national anthem, "Don't Stop Believin'" from Journey (rolls eyes.) Ann Curry (who should have gotten the gig six years ago) seemed to have a particularly good time sending Mer off. From Miss Ann, we got Natalie Morales. Did you know Natalie was up for Vieira's vacated spot? I bet she's not going to stay on Today too long if a better offer presents itself.

The level of NBC staff on hand was staggering. Did you see Manimal? I did. Hoda and Kathie Lee  (from Regis and Kathie Lee) was there too. I was hoping they'd all fall down. Sadly Tom Brokaw couldn't join the proceedings. He was in a makeshift study preparing for an interview with Ronald Reagan (shh, don't tell him.) Near the end, my favorite gang, Jenna Wolfe, Amy Robach and Lester Holt even stopped by to lip-synch. And about Lester Holt, out there with no rhythm at all. Shameful! Abe Vigoda was there too. Goody....

Part 2: After the party was over, Katie, Matt, Al and Ann all told Meredith how great she was. They were crying and stuff yet I was unmoved. Me? I can cry on 35 year old commercials but for this? I did not care. I think it's because Meredith has done better work elsewhere and there's probably better work ahead for her.




From The Archives- Here's a pic of most of the NBC Today gang at my blog's 5th anniversary party.