Tuesday, May 01, 2012

The Today Show: Anatomy of Decline

Did you hear the news? NBC's venerated Today show lost its 1st place spot in the morning ratings. This is big news. This is the first time this has happened in 16 years. 16 years ago, that was a time of...I can't think of anything. According to my staff, it happened again.. This seismic shift didn't happen overnight. Here's a few things that let me know that the Today Show was "falling off' as the kids say.

Matt Lauer- I remember when Matt Lauer was rifling through Dionne Warwick's underwear drawer on Fame, Fortune and Romance, now he's Edward R. Murrow. Matt's been busy. He hoodwinked NBC into signing him to a 4 year contract at 25 million dollars a year. In related news, my coin pail is filling up again!

Part 16: Lauer's relationship with his co-host, the lovely Ann Curry has probably created some issues. In an article with the Hollywood Reporter, Lauer chit-chatting about and here's what he said:

"I love Ann. I've known her for 20 years. I think we have a kind of sister-brother thing, maybe sister-brother from different parents," he laughs, adding: "We're not at all alike. But I feel very comfortable alongside her."

My Take: Hee hee har har, he's so funny-and very flattering. He should feel comfortable "alongside" side her. If I had my way, he'd be hitting the streets with a sudsy bucket and a "shammy" and Harry Smith would be hosting. 

Sarah Palin Co-Hosting Stint- Her shtick has become even more acrid with time. It was "big" news when it came time to co-host the flailing Today Show. Her performance was lousy and it reaped diminishing returns. You know, she's so "odd" she couldn't even answer a simple question about The OWN network without talking about "conservatives" and "patriots." Dumb ass.The whole gruesome 2 hours is proof that Palin's time has come and gone and that's she's learned little in her time in the spotlight.This sad little event also proved how desperate NBC was for ratings (they lost that morning too.)

Kim Kardashian -In the middle of disasters, why not invite Kim Karadishan to make rough a whole lot worse. Really there was no reason for her to make an appearance. There's was no brassiere or noxious par-fume line to hawk. She ambled on the stage after spending days and nights doing God knows what with Kanye West to talk about absotutley nothing. And god bless Ann Curry, she was able to act like this vacuous thing was making sense. This was 7:22 of pure pain.

Part 2: I was only able to watch about 2 minutes of this. After that  my mind shut off and I drifted back to the good old days of Willard Scott wishing happy birthday to some 113 year old lady.

Ryan Seacrest-  In a couple of years he'll be all machine, he's probably already got an electrical outlet implanted somewhere on his person as we speak. Reportedly, NBC signed Seacrest to another contract. Who knows what they're going to do with him. They're going to keep him in the reserves in case Matt Lauer steps on one of those live mines Al Roker set up in the studio for "kicks." I can't say what capacity he'd ever serve on the Today Show. Ah, who needs him.

The Truth Don't Never Lie: This is a man with zero news experience and zero credibility. Can you imagine him delivering the news to a sad nations about the death of President Taft? Me either.

The Today Couch- Who isn't tired of this thing. It's become an entity unto itself, it is the 5th Beatle. I tell you what, Jane Pauley and Tom Brokaw didn't need to take a rest every 10 minutes. Bryant Gumbel either. They need quit gabbing and deliver the news!

Fast Fact: Al Roker found this couch in a junkyard, tied it on the back of his pickup and delivered it himself.
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