Ghost Riding The Whip: A Review

Oh hi. I have to do some community service. Ain't that a shame. To get it out of the way, I decided to warn people of this disgusting game our worst and dimmest are partaking in. They call it "ghost riding the whip." In esoteric terms, it's called "wasting time." Here's a few of my favorite morons.




Well kudos for picking the right car. Who cares if that wreck gets demolished in some foolish game. Despite the pic, this guy was getting a good amount of speed. He seemed to be more skilled at it then others, posing til' closing and he was certainly agile. I would have given anything to see that tired ass car flatten him like a hotcake.

Rating: **1/2




Got to say this dude is really raising the game. Look at that pic, you'd think he was auditioning for the Spinners. Sadly, he's another dolt dancing around his moving car. I've got to give points for the weird, demented dancing this guy did. It's docked a notch for his not "maning up" and doing this at a park. A park? What about a freeway?


Rating *** 1/2




Really is any song so good you have to dance to it like this?
Unlike the other clips n' pics these jerks faces are clearly seen. I hope they are duly ashamed. And look at the older dude letting his little brother standing on a moving vehicle like that. Yep, yep he's making him be the workhorse in the act. We all see what kind of toll it took on Little Michael Jackson. Pull your weight Tito!


Rating: ***





A bad afternoon. What this guy was doing wasn't really even the odious and aforementioned "ghost riding." This was "exiting a car going 35 MPH." See, this Einstein didn't believe in putting the car in neutral like the rest of these freedom fighters, he jumped out while a ton of speed was still in the mix. We see the results. The truck hit and tree and we all see how Chuck's doing...

Rating: ****

Disclaimer: The truck felt a bit sore after the accident. He called me and told me he was doing ok.

I Love Denise Huxtable!

The best character ever.









I've been watching reruns of the Cosby Show. You know, the show really wasn't bad? Well the ones with Lisa Bonet weren't bad. Of course Bonet played the icon Denise Huxtable.

With her fashion sense, quick wit and tangible presence, Denise was often the only non-annoying thing about the Cosby Show. And how annoying could the Cosby Show be? From Cliff hiding potato chips in the fireplace to Clair sounding off about absolutely nothing, the Huxtable's were colossal pains in the ass. Well, except for one that is.

The power of Denise can be seen in the classic 1987 episode "Shakespeare." Seems that Christopher Plummer, Roscoe Lee Browne and Gramps Huxtable/Earle Hyman all fell by to read ol' Bill Shakespeare. After seeing those pontificating windbags go at it, the only beacon of common sense was Denise. Bonet also used her powers for good in the dreadful "Hillman" episode.


Denise and Bonet left the Cosby Show during the 87-88 season. She had to go to Hillman full-time with Whitley and Marisa Tomei. Bonet was still at her quirky best but her solo stint was brief. Lisa got pregnant and had to leave. Sinbad would have been devastated if he was on the show at that time.







Luckily for me, Heathcliff Cosby begrudgingly let Denise come back home. Denise returned looking great but with the baggage of a husband and his kid. Bonet made all of it work and actually got even better as portraying a slightly older and still hot Denise. In one odd episode Cliff got his jollies by the fact that Denise remained a virgin up to her wedding night. Yikes, dial it down, Dad...







Denise Leaves Again: America Cries: Having Bonet in the back in the fold wasn't good enough for Bill Cosby. Cosby reportedly gave Bonet the boot because he felt her character stalled out. Damn you Bill!









Ahh, just look at him...

People I'm Sick Of

Pat Boone is the enemy. This is his latest crime, "We Are Family: R&B Classics." Here Pat puts a hurtin' on a ton of classic tracks with the help of genre professionals like James Brown, Sam Moore and an especially breathy/corny Smokey Robinson. I for one am sickened by this foolish display. It only helps the terrorists...





She's pretty, wow, that's different,ok, great...


Beyonce- Well it looks like Beyonce finally got some attention during the Oscars season. Too bad, it's notfor the Oscars and it's for doing a swimsuit shoot. Oh, how novel. Oddly enough,Beyonce gets on my nerves and really I've seen enough of her. At this point there's about 20 or 30 women I'd rather see doing this then her.

Note To Self: Find Beyonce's Sports Illustrated pics and add to "collection."


Tyra Banks--Move on...

Talk about a sad, sad state of affairs. First Beyonce is basically doing a half-assed
version what Banks used to do and now look. Who knows what kind of jumbled reflection prompted this PR disaster. Banks actually did a new photo shoot with the same bikini she wore for her 1997 Sports Illustrated cover. Adding yet more fodder for the Too Much Information files, Banks said that more fabric was added where it was needed.

Part 2: She can't be this ridiculous. I think she's doing this pathetic things to appear desperate and therefore more relatable. But really? I don't think anyone is this crazy...

Howard K. Stern trying to get his cry on...

I was really sad to hear about Anna Nicole Smith. I certainly saw a lot of her in recent times due in part to Entertainment Tonight's addiction with her. Sadly they've got to move on to next best thing, creepy ol' Howard. Got to say I'm tired of seeing him in those ball caps. Is he in mourning or trying out for the Seattle Mariners?

Double Feature: I'm sick of looking at Mark Steines too--like he's doing some investigative reporting. He's not doing a doggone thing but getting creepier and more obsequious with each passing day.


Shut up Pat Boone!

Kind of Watching It TV: Reality BS

So much junk on TV, so little time. Here's a few shows I'm going to have nightmares about...


Armed and Dangerous- I'm shocked by our American public. I for one will not let the cancellation of this show go without mention. I guess we've been too busy with our Y2K parties and the Bicentennial to be bothered. The premise of this was amazing. Armed and Dangerous followed the exploits of five celebrities putting away their revolting hedonism to become cops in Muncie, Indiana.

It Started Out So Promising: Yes it did. This was a tasteful show, it seemed to be carving out its own niche even with loose cannons like Jack Osbourne and Wee Man. The sad fact is that American Idol crushed this in the ratings and that was all she wrote.

The Best Cops: The best one of course was Erik Estrada. He had a commanding presence, you'd think he actually had been a cop or at least played one years ago or something. Good news, Estrada is planning to return to Muncie and work as a cop.

My Take: Goody






I'd love to see Erik Estrada tasered everyday!











Finally got a chance to see Egotrip's (White) Rapper Show. My parole officer had this playing on his television set. The stolid host of this potential meltdown is MC Serch from 3rd Bass. The deal is simple here, white rappers go through an often silly competitions to be the winner. The prize is of course monetary but you know, I think just being under Serch's tutelage is good enough. He's a great guy.





My True Feelings About Serch: Get a load of this guy. I've noticed a little too much bass and tone in Serch's dismissals of the losing contestants. Yep, I think he enjoys yelling at folks. Here's something for you Serch: Step Off!!!!


Notes: I told Serch to "Step off."












Grease-You're The One That I Want- This is lethal. NBC had the bright idea to search all over to find a Sandy and Danny from Grease. You know what? I have no idea if they need a Kenickie but every time I've turned to this I'm seeing the world's worst auditions. And really if they do find the best people left standing, who cares? It's not like they're going to do the movie again.








The Biggest Mistake of All: The vulgar Billy Bush presides over this disaster. The strangest thing is that this show is so craptastic even he can't feign enthusiasm. Now that's sick...