Kind of Watching It TV: Mr. Rogers Neighborhood

Finally a show that's quiet. Sadly, I think I've gone back to basics to soothe my frazzled nerves. And really what better way to do that than to watch the visual Prozac that is Mr. Rogers Neighborhood. I recently caught a Mr. Rogers Neighborhood from the early '80s, this was before the drugs, the drinking took their toll.


The topic of the day was oranges. Rogers started off with the good stuff. He had a little pot and soil, got an orange, showed a seed. But his investigative mind wouldn't let it rest. He "mysteriously" got a "film" from the always weird Mr. McFeeley. Despite the film tin displayed, this was a video. I was particularly taken with seeing the potentially unsanitary conditions where things like orange juice are made. I've got to say it was unsettling to see the drain pipe like apparatuses that gave us our Tropicana and Donald Duck.

Rogers also visited Brockett's Bakery. See, that's that keen mind, he needed to see oranges in a desert or something of that nature. We did, a nice orange cake. I've got a complaint about Mr. Rogers. I totally saw him touching that cake and he clearly didn't wash his hands. Here's a note to Mr. Rogers: Wash your hands!

After all of that gushing over that orange cake and the wonders of soy, that jackass ended up picked up a loaf of bread. He asked us if we had seen a breadbox before. Yes, we have and he'll see it again three weeks down the line with those slices covered in mold.


Mr. Rogers ignored my requests for a sandwich and had to take it to Kidtown as that weird ol' trolley came roaring back. That I didn't understand. Here we were doing grown-up stuff, smoking, drinking orange juice and here comes the trolley again? Bad call. I got a chance to see a few puppets drink orange juice and then I turned the channel and saw "Ellen" wearing some odd hat.


Missing In Action: King Friday didn't make an appearance in this episode due to a protracted and particularly nasty contract negotiations.

Great Singers: Hurl Worthy Covers

Nothing but the classics--and these songs are classically bad. I love all of these artists and I find the following songs amazing. Why were they recorded? Were they serious? Yep, pretty much...


This is a clip from the time frame period I was just talking about. And look who it is! It's Ella Fitzgerald and Frank Sinatra. They're singing "Tony Rome" and it's great. Did I say that out loud?

Ella Fitzgerald- Get Ready, Ella Fitzgerald was one of the finest singers we're likely to hear. To be honest she also had a touch of the kitsch. In all candor I'll never be ready to hear Ella Fitzgerald sing, "Get Ready." It's way punchy, potentially uncutous and for me, a little scary to hear her "get with the kids" and assumedly later, "let it all hang out."


Ella Loved Rock!: Ella also tackled "Ooh Baby Baby," "The Hunter Gets Captured By The Game" and "The Sunshine of Your Love." I find that horrifying...



Sammy Davis- Wichita Lineman- I'm a big fan of Jimmy Webb but frankly I have no idea why so many people covered "Wichita Lineman." This is quite a reflective and sedate song when you think about it. That fact didn't stop thousands from screaming the lyrics and all but obliterating the song's inherent longing. This pretty much what happens here. This song is so bad, it's good. Equipped with "freak-out" guitar, and "groovy" organ fills, Sammy puts some pep in this often drearily paced song. The big problem? This is full of hooey, frankly
it's hard to imagine Sammy scaling anything to get up a telephone pole.

An Idiot's Take: Great cover!


Frank Sinatra- A Bunch of Stuff. After a great run of hits for Capitol and Reprise that roughly spanned 1952 to 1965, Frank seemed to have lost his marbles right after and during the release of Sinatra: A Man and His Music. Throughout the spoken intros of the album Sinatra treated himself like an old fuddy-duddy and was all but calling it a wrap. Subsequent albums found Frank accumlating quite a stash of regrettable covers like "Mrs. Robinson," "Downtown," "Goin' Out of My Head" and "Little Green Apples." George Harrison's "Something" wasn't safe either and is the best from the truly wrongheaded Frank Sinatra's Greatest Hits Volume 2.

Good music and nehru jackets just don't mix...

NBC/Saturday Night Live Vs. You Tube

As a blogger of note, I was contacted by higher-up/mucky mucks about NBC's recent legal action. Long story short, Saturday Night Live had a popular skit called, "Lazy Sunday" starring Andy Samberg and Chris Parnell. All of the action that went to YouTube via the skit was astounding. And you know what? It seemed to pose a problem for NBC. Turns out that a lot of skits from Saturday Night Live and other NBC shows appeared on the site. Wow, who da thunk it? NBC demanded that the work would be removed. The good news is that I'm totally impartial about the situation.


My Take: NBC has too many problems to be even thinking about YouTube. The ratings are in the crapper, both "The Office" and "My Name is Earl" aren't as big hits as planned. It's a good thing that a solid hit like "Joey" is there to take up the slack. Could they look any more out of it whining about this? Here's a duh moment, the more people stumble on an actually funny skit, the more inclined they might be to watch the show again. As for getting NBC shows off the internet--it's probably not going to happen. But I'll do all I can to make sure it doesn't appear on my blog, on second thought I don't care.


" Now run tell that..."





Update: NBC apparently isn't whistling dixie and they are still scoping out YouTube and sucking up every instance of the months old Lazy Sunday they can find. Great investigative work. Too bad that single minded-ness couldn't help "Boomtown" to actually stay on the air...

Kind of Watching It TV: Geraldo At Large

I bet that fool doesn't even need glasses...


Good news, all charges were dropped. During the time of awaiting the verdict I had the good fortune of seeing "Geraldo at Large." Got to say I wish I hadn't of seen it. This is another poorly produced Fox News affair with inflammatory topics, seedy graphics and not even the propriety of fairness. You know what's not fair? Being subjected to Geraldo Rivera. As a fan of his work on ABC and that horrible talk show, by the mid point of his CNBC stint, Rivera morphed into a full-time ass and never really came back.

Not surprisingly, this show gives a viewer a snoot full of a toxic level of undiluted Geraldo Rivera, and it's shameless at this point in time. The show I caught was the endless loop of problems Geraldo's being singing about for eons. He got his race relations on by way of the Charles Barkley's book as the "excuse" and Rivera and the story partied like it was 1991. Aiding that story was one of Fox's female drones giving it that special, non-human touch. Geraldo later popped up, drilling Bryant Gumbel in the wickets for no apparent reason. You know what else was on the show's menu, stupid "feel-good" stories, hollow political arguments and of course Geraldo complaining in front of something and or somewhere...


The Deal: This show isn't much different from any Fox News enterprise. This is tacky, self-serving with the issues dumbed down to grotesque level. Rivera also seemed to rock it old-school, fumbling around with a kind of microphone I haven't seen since the 4th grade...

Grade: C+

Pop Culture Idiot Achiever Of The Minute: Time for Timer

Despite the celebrations and the presentation of this honor, I never did like "Timer" better known as "Time for Timer." He always struck me as a busy body, thinking he knew it all even though he was animated and was only three feet tall. And really, who made him boss. Imagine the raw audacity of telling kids what to eat and how to live. My love/hate relationship with Timer is why I gave him my award. I think it's good for the both of us...

After his odd beginnings as a Great Gazoo like character, Timer finally found his niche with ABC's Health and Nutrition Commercials. These were weekend spots that usually ran in-between the Cocoa Peebles, Hot Wheel Tracks and M&M's spots, pretty much all edible stuff when you're 7. Although I'm not his biggest fan, I've got to say Timer hit "a zone" during the "Sunshine on a Stick" commercial. This is where he devised a high-level plan for kids to make fake popsicles by way of juice, an ice tray, Saran Wrap and toothpicks. You've got to hand it to Timer, he didn't let the fact that all popsicles taste like crap thwart his plans in any way.

I still can't believe that jackass actually advocated leftovers as the first meal of the day. Yeah Timer, thanks...

Kind of Important TV Questions...

Heh, check that cool title. But really this is what it is. As a person in the "industry" I often have news on shows that others aren't privvy to. I'm not in the television industry however--but I do have a TV. And you know what, there's a lot of questions on the internet and I thought I'd answer a few of them like somebody asked me or something...

Everyone's asking about "Joey." In fact my mailbox is crammed full of queries about Joey. This is what I know, "Joey" isn't on at press time. Maybe it's a good thing. For some reason this show just made me feel bad. It certainly had promise but it's all a little too sitcomy and plus I can't believe this show's been on since the fall of 2004. Ahh well...

An Idiot's Take: Really I had it with Joey after that abysmal Joey loves Rachel plot line on "Friends." And without the cast from that show, Matt LeBlanc is tough to take without a context.

Update: NBC has put Joey back on the schedule for Tuesday nights! Goody...

Jake in Progress. People seem to be divided on whether this is coming back. The show's second season debuted with a slightly different premise, added characters and "Emily's Reasons Why Not" making stuff a lot worse. John Stamos has also been looking to me for counsel, asking things like, "Hey man, what did you hear about Jake?" That's when I say nothing and slam the phone down. That's tough love...

Bottom Line: Either we'll see this again--or we won't...

That's Dharma with the guy from "Ed." "Courting Alex" sucks. I don't see a bunch of people invested in this relationship. You know, for this to work, the lead character has to be likeable. She's not at all...

Replacing A Good Show With A Not Good Show: "Courting Alex" bumped "Out of Practice" off the schedule. I bet the ratings have declined because this show is brutal. "Practice" is supposed to be back--but then again so was "My-So Called Life." Oh no, I'm still not over it!



What happened to Love Monkey? It seems that CBS's "Love Monkey" has been taken off the CBS lineup. That's great! TV has enough good shows, one more is just too many. Got to say this wasn't an easy sell for me. Tom Cavanaugh often gets on my nerves, so does Jason Priestly/Brandon Walsh and Larenz Tate, but the show was/is really good. The best thing is that it didn't seem music snobby and Cavanaugh's character wasn't a prick. Yep this worked that well...

Status: On hiatus, still on the CBS website, halted production, next episode TBD...

It's time to pay it forward. For all of the info I've given, I'm asking for help in a write-in campaign to bring "Beverly Hills 90210" back. I've got conditions however, not the good cast but these guys. They seemingly did 120 episodes that last season, I want to see 192,949,291 more...

The Grammys...

Remember those days when you could watch the Grammys and forget about them? Not this trip. The sights and sounds have traumatized me and being the munificent person I am, I have to share....




You know what? I liked her as an R&B/Pop singer--anything beyond that--I just don't care. Clarkson got into a little bit of trouble because she didn't thank American Idol. What? Is American Idol a person now? She won the show didn't she? What more can she do. In fact her being a viable, and non-creepy winner or runner-up is thanks enough...



Madonna did a performance with the animated group the Gorillaz. It wasn't ironic or innovative, it was pretty much Madonna performing with a non-existent, computer generated group. Heh, she looks like Electro Woman and or Dyna Girl. And sadly the sight of that spectacle makes me regret all of the wonderful "thoughts" I've had about her over the years...






I had to admit tears came when I saw Mary J. Blige and U2 together. You know what the tears were from? Pure agony. I can pretty much put this in the enuff z' enuff files. Actually I like both entities--in small doses. Together? Forget about it.



You know, I'm from the old-school. Seriously. I graduated from a run-down shack called, "The Old School." In any event, I do think Teri Hatcher looks great. I'm a bit puzzled why this made news. I barely know who won what and this was the main story. Well really, given the lack of exciting wins I can see why folks needed a diversion.






Hello, goodbye, wha? When the news broke that Sly Stone was going to appear at the Grammys, I was cautiously optimistic. Since 1974 or so "expecting" Sly Stone to do anything was often a foolish pursuit. Stone did appear however--and it was just ok. After decidedly non-Sly Stoneian performers sang a few of his hits, Stone himself came onstage. It barely made a difference. Wearing a blonde Mohawk, big sunglasses and a metallic-looking getup, I was a bit pleased to see him. Well not really. Stone's appearance made for uncomfortable viewing. He fled the stage before "I Want To Take You Higher" concluded leaving folks like John Legend and that second weirdest guy from the Black Eyed Peas to close up shop...



Update: Sly Stone is still bat shit crazy...





Oh no you don't, but they did. After Jay-Z pretty much zoned me out with some dude named Chester Bennington or as I see it, Betten Chesterfield. They tell me he's from Linkin Park, one of those acid rock groups the kids are going crazy about. As the song they were "singing" oddly started to sound like "Yesterday" I knew who was on tap, Paul McCartney. McCartney did sang a few lines, did some harmony with Bennington. The embarrassing part? Jay-Z. The specifics of singing and melody rendered him hopeless and all he could offer was "uh-huh," "yeah" and a few other utterances as the others sang. Hilarious--and this was simply odd...

A Warning: If Jay-Z and Paul McCartney appear together again, the universe can't stand it and it's going to be adios for, well, like everybody...

Fake Arsenio Hall: Part 2 The Beginning....

I've been derelict in my duty. I carelessly gave an icon only a passing phrase, when he deserved so much more. That person of course is Fake Arsenio Hall played by Keenan Ivory Wayans...

Long story short. Keenan Ivory Wayans and Arsenio were on the comedy circuit together and became fast friends. The two seemed to still hit it off during the early days of their new found popularity. The two were chief members of "The Black Pack." As Keenan earned success as a writer with "I'm Gonna Get You Sucka" Hall had filmed "Coming to America" and was starting to get into the talk show racket. Where these friends obviously parted ways is unknown. And to make matters worse, the Pop Culture Idiot Investigative Team has been rolling snake eyes in regards to solid answers.



As the picture shows, Keenan pulled out all the stops with his cartoonish teeth, replica flat top fade and the final insult, a fake gigantic prosthetic rear end. Wayans did two or three skits featuring Big A and then Hall did the short work as he became that best Arsenio Hall parody of them all....


It wasn't so easy was it Mr. Clean? In the 1997-1998 season Wayans tried his hand at the talk show deal with the Keenan Ivory Wayans show. Wayans was in battle with the long-gone Vibe and Keenan couldn't get the A list guests, after a while Arsenio went through the same thing.






A clip of Wayans talking to his former Fly Girl Jennifer Lopez...

The Arsenio Hall Show

Let it be said, Arsenio Hall is a great entertainer. For some reason there's not a ton of info on the Arsenio Hall Show. This is what I remember, these were great nights for TV...

For many late night viewers Hall presented something especially needed, a show that was actually watchable. For the first few years, "The Arsenio Hall Show" was great TV. Hall wasn't exactly new to the idea. He was the co-host of Alan Thicke's bomb, "the Thicke of the Night." Hall also did a stint as the replacement host for Joan Rivers Fox nighttime show. "The Arsenio Hall Show" debuted in 1989. People like Eddie Murphy and Paula Abdul made memorable appearences. You know what was nice? Arsenio didn't indulge in inside chatter with those guests and he didn't do anything embarrasing like appearing in one of Paula Abdul's videos...

From the very beginning the Arsenio Hall Show had a party atmosphere. At its peak, The Arsenio Hall show had the right mixture of A and B list acts all together. Not surprisingly a few of Arsenio's guests weren't totally ready for this new-fangled entertainment. For some reason guests often brought their racial baggage to Arsenio's set. Being the vicious comic he could be, I remember Arsenio making short work of both Dabney Coleman and Ray Sharkey. For the most part the guests did enjoy themselves, I know I did when I appeared on the late night program. Thanks Arsenio...


By the mid '90s Hall's show started to lose steam. It was at this time a lot of guests quit Hall and opted for "the Tonight Show with Jay Leno." During the end of its run, Arsenio filled his stage with new musical acts, often forgettable guests and more and more hooey. The show was cancelled in 1994. You know, I'm still thinking about the fact that this show was on until 1994--now that's something...

There's Arsenio interviewing Paula Abdul, no doubt Arsenio is deep in thought. Catch his interviewers pose...






Mariah Carey made her national television debut on "the Arsenio Hall Show." That was back when she was really cute and wasn't a pain in the ass...





That's Keenan Ivory Wayans from a particulary hilarious and totally offensive skit on "In Living Color." There's one word for this: instant classic...