Saturday, December 29, 2012

Jackasses of the Year

My disdain for these people have put my blog at a standstill. And you know that's wrong. This blog is big business! Here's a few jackasses....
Ice-T and Coco- I don't mean to put Ice-T on blast, I don't need no harm, but this has to be dealt with. In recent news our friend Ice-T has turned from grizzled war vet of the streets to a dowdy ol' cuckold. Heh, who would have seen that coming in say 1989. It seems as though Ice is having troubles in his home, his wife is everywhere but where she belongs!

In short, Ice-T's wife Coco was seen in multiple pics with a funny looking young rapper named AP 9 (named after the gun.) In these revolting pics we see two folks who clearly are familiar with one another. The dreary pictures show changes of clothing, touching, kissing and nuzzling. Honestly, it's all bad news. Ice-T shouldn't have expected any better, Coco's no classy lady, she's no Tovah Feldshuh! And look Ice-T took to Twitters to raise his compliants, like a school girl. Here's one of his pitiable missives....

.....Don't get it twisted, I'm not happy about this s**t. Most of [the pics] are disrespectful and in bad taste. She's made me look and feel like s**t. I say this on Twitter because there's no way to avoid the obvious misconduct of a married couple. ..

Ain't that something? Next he'll be listening to my Libby Titus album and crying on the floor in the fetal position. According to reports, Coco apologized and they are reportedly still together. Damnit!!

Fool Meter ****

Matt Lauer- We all know Matt Lauer forced Ann Curry out of her job, let's not sugar coat it. While Curry has been scattered across the globe (doing good work BTW) Lauer is still boring the word and holding forth at his Today. But something happened he did not forsee. In a stroke of genius,the boss folks at NBC recruited Morning Joe correspondant Willie Geist to be the guest host during Today's 9 o' clock hour.

While Geist and Lauer seem to be bro-ing it up, I don't believe it for a minute. When you get down to it, starting in 1994, Matt Lauer played the "Willie Geist" role with Bryant Gumbel and Katie Couric. Remember? It wasn't just Kate, Matt, Al and Ann, it was Bryant and Katie--for years. NBC got tired of looking at Bryant Gumbel and slid his "ready-made" replacement in his chair before he knew it. Lightening? Strike twice, please!

Fool Meter ***

 John Travolta and Olivia Newton John- Wow, just wow. It's rare that we can see two careers implode at once. These two got to together for a snuff film of a Christmas video called "I Think You Might Like It." I didn't. Thankfully the response was lukewarm but the stench of the endeavor is still ringing in the air like hot trash.  As a consequence of this disaster, John and Olivia have made rounds of talk shows chatting up this crime against nature. The main problem: Reality. At this point there's little or no sense for this reunion. And sadly the insouciance of this pairing has been washed away with tales from massage tables and missing boyfriends.

The Good News: This atrocity didn't seem to get much traction and wasn't see as much as it could have been. Good! Who wants to see John Travolta driving his plane on the road, that's dangerous!

Fool Meter ***

Halle Berry and Oliver Martinez- Oh, Bonjour! Look at these two sullying up the City of Light with their twisted love. You know Halle was just "visiting" Paris but you know she wants to live there. Really, it's not unusual, a  lot of stars of  yesteryear decamp to Paris to fade into the pomp and decor. I bet they don't even remember her as she just becomes a "professional pretty woman." I can hear them saying, "Was she a fan dancer?" or "Josephine Baker, is that you?"

Part 2: Just look at those two...You know, I wonder if these two ever think about the day Oliver beat the brakes off of Halle's ex Gene Autry Gabriel Aubry? Assuredly that wasn't a great day in the Berry/Martinez household. I saw the pics of Aubry and his face looked like a burnt casserole. His busted eye? It was magenta. I hope his daughter Nahla didn't see her daddy laid out like that. Knowing Halle she probably called her, "Look Nahla! See that's why you need a new daddy..."

Editor's Note:  It's sad that Nahla has become a pawn in this childish games (no typo). I implore Holly Halle to stop this post haste and at this instant too. Halle, think of the chirrens! 

Fool Meter *****

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