Saturday, July 31, 2010

American Idol: The Day The World Was Changed Forever Ever

Did you hear the news? Well I heard the news on the Walter Cronkite program. It looks like we are losing not one but two of the Amercian Idol judges. I can barely type for all of the tears on my rickety ol' keyboard. This is truly a game changing day. Let's recap and hopefully grow from this horrible experience...






Look, there's Miss Ellen, Miss Ellen's a nice lady. Guess what? Ellen DeGeneres doesn't/didn't know a damned thing about musical talent. What was her qualification? Nothing. The past season with Ellen's corny business helped to take away whatever dignity the show had left. It's maxed out now. The good news is that Ellen knew she wasn't serving any real purpose and she cleared out her desk and headed for home. But sadly, she stole a stapler on her way out--very small...







What happened with Kara Dioguardi was far more sinister. Kara actually was in the show with Paula Abdul, the first year they had four judges. Despite protestations of the contrary, Kara seemed and looked like an Abdul replacement. It was a good idea, you know, in case Paula went off during a live broadcast and had to be tasered or something. This bright idea had kinks  After Paula left, Kara (an actually talented person) was assigned the role of Simon's foil, the straight person--it didn't work. Also she had no chemistry with Cowell or Randy Jackson (Michael's cousin.) Matter of fack, Kara came off crazy obnoxious during the past season with her critiques of my favorite Siobhan Magnus. See Kara, look what happened? All that sass talk about my Siobhan didn't mean you no good! Why am I talking like this? According to reports, Kara was axed to leave.


Look kids, it's Kind-Of Fats Domino...

Talk about hiring n' firing and retooling, they should have started with this guy. Randy really hasn't had anything to say of any importance in about 20 doggone years. You know what? It doesn't matter. He's still there collecting that check and trying to foist vulgar mediocrities like Kris  Kris Allen and Lee DeWyze on an exhausted public. Randy's cartoon critiques with a half-awake and lying Simon Cowell made for brutal TV. You know what? I've actually seen Randy bash fairly good performances for the sake of ratings and drama. Look at that face? He can't be trusted with bag of old newspapers let alone with nurturing deserving young talent. I've been hearing a lot about Randy Jackson's music career and I've got to say I'm not impressed. Randy was never as talented as his brothers, especially Jermaine, it's time for him  to "explore other opportunities."
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