Saturday, October 17, 2009

The Heene Family: All Kinds of Crazy

Oh hi. It's just a rash. Sadly I can't be left alone, I've been trying to do a diary entry about my 8 tracks but the fools in the world just won't let up. Of course by now we've all heard about that little child and his balloon misadventure. Turns out the little demon let his daddy's balloon loose while he hid up in the attic next to the wok and record machine. That fool wasn't even on it when it tumbled down to the ground! There's more. The Heene family has/have (dyslexic) been making the TV rounds like old pros. Why? Because they are old pros. These folks have been on the surprisingly not canceled Wife Swap not once but twice. Even a cursory look at the internets shows they've been on TV more than Milton Berle. Here's a few clips with commentary...

Today Show Hurl- Ain't that a shame. Here Father Heene is trying to explain away the wheels falling off this little charade. He's not doing a good job. Sadly we also see little Falcon hurl. Ha! Poor thing.

Dog Poop- Here's a clip from the Heene family channel on YouTube. We see dad looking like David Foster bribing his chirrens to pick up, as he so delicately put it, dog shit. Really. I can't imagine using such guttural talk around kids. It's a shame, hell shit!

Wife Swap's 100 episode. This sums up the Heene's in 9 minutes. They're probably at their wretched best on this, their second stint on Wife Swap. While everyone's sounding off about Crazy Dad Heene, the wife Mayumi is not much better. Frankly she might be even more of a freak show then her crazy husband. Did you hear her singing? She's no Flora Purim that's for sure. And while we're at it, can you believe how crude they all are? And I know damn well that stormchasing nonsense isn't covering those car notes. Ain't nothing going on, but the rent!

At press time, the Heene's have stopped talking to the press. My requests for an interview have been denied. I'm so mad I just sharted.
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