Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Daytime TV Stuff

All of this stuff makes me wish for the days of The Flintstones and the Mike Douglas Show. Here some junk, some good, some bad, some horrendous as ever.

The Doctors- When I first saw this, I was elated. I thought the NBC soap The Doctors was coming back. No such luck. This isn't the soap opera but a silly daily medical show brought to us by the two head monster of Phillip and Jay McGraw. Boring? Sure it is. Dr. Phil's boyfriend former Bachelor Travis Stork leads a gruesome crew of real doctors who answer silly ass questions. They wear scrubs like Dr. Oz so they must be real good!

The Worst: The lead doctor Stork is a wooden, leaden presence. He's uniquely uncomfortable being himself. The rest of the doctors almost seem like dreary characters in that late '80s syndicated doctors show, Family Medical Center. The Doctors is a real life Family Medical Center. I have a headache...

Gang War: Oprah Winfrey is reportedly doing a show with Dr. Oz and that's allegedly why the McGraw's green lit their underdone offering. But really a little Dr. Oz a week to scare the shit out of you is one thing. I'm not sure if I could tolerate that face every day.

Verdict: I can't tolerate that face every day. Canceled!

The Bonnie Hunt Show- I have been waiting for this show for a while, years probably. My 15th arrest stemmed from the fact that her 2002-04 ABC series wasn't renewed. I took my aggressions out on the public at large. The show itself is good, and a bit different from the norm. There's no DJ, tossing out free stuff or choking the audience to "sleep" like John Davidson used to. This just an interesting show. I'm biased though, Bonnie Hunt is one of the 10 people in entertainment business I can actually stand.

She's Single: An added benefit is hearing Bonnie Hunt gripe about the breakup of her marriage. I enjoy it too much.

Trivial Pursuit-America Speaks- I was innocently surfing for porn when I heard this familiar voice in the background. It had a whiny tone, sing-songy if you will, a veritable siren from the days of way back yore. I turned around and saw it was one of my favorites, Christopher Knight. Knight as a game show host? Now there's something that makes total sense. He's actually adept at it.

Can't Follow: I have dyslexia and or tested in the "barely functioning" part of a dyslexia test and don't understand this game at all and neither does Christopher Knight.

The Decidedly Grim: Everyone knows I love America's can-do spirit. These shows exemplify America at it's most revolting.

TMZ- I can't imagine a more pointless show. The site itself is barren and frightening enough, now it's in TV form. Here a bunch of sycophants talk and stalk celebrities while their ghoulish master of ceremonies Little Harvey Levin cackles. He also writes gibberish on some glass/plastic structure. Ahh who cares...

We rarely see Levin without that assuredly toxic cup. As punishment for all of the horrible things he says, I snuck on the TMZ set and filled that cup with Clorox Bleach. Ha! Serves you right, drink up fool!

The View- Any decline of civilization at large can't go too far without discussing The View, particularly Elisabeth Hasselbeck. It seems we can't go back to the halcyon days of polite conversation, spirited debate and actual logic. Hasselbeck is clearly full-on crazy now, a sick and demented mouthpiece for the dumbest segment of the Republican base.

After making Rosie O' Donnell head for home, Hasselbeck clearly lost further touch with reality. Never a brain trust, she's actually barely human now, just a toady chipping in with debunked talking points like some evil coo-coo clock. Here's something: Just stop talking.

A Just Punishment: This fool actually got in trouble for making her garish, homemade McCain TV shirt as seen pictured. Good!
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