Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Asinine Commercials

I'm beginning to wish we could do without commercials at together, or at least bring back the smoking ones, they were fun!

Cymbalta- Call me crazy, but I don't like the bad press depression has been getting lately. It's not like its Britney Spears or anything. Depression has fueled art and it has stopped people from being too happy. Those are pluses in my book. Cymbalta makes depression seem so draggy. I'm actually offended.

Chandra Wilson-Folgers- They're playing this commercial way too much. Folgers has launched a famous people campaign and actress Chandra Wilson is the first commercial to appear. It's all about Wilson getting those 5 minutes of alone time, with Folgers. I'm pretty much down to selling my action figures for "spending change" but I can blast it past Folgers. And really, Folgers hasn't been good for 25 years...

Isaiah Washington likes coffee too...

Dean Martin Roasts- Can you imagine? I'm not a night person, get kind of "out of it" so to speak? The last thing I want to see is an informal featuring a cavalcade of performers laughing and having fun. The worst part? I wasn't invited to any of these soirées.

For the seemingly endless infomercial, Tim Conway is the "host" of this shebang. I do think it's over the top seeing the talented Conway cart out lowbrow humor like Dorf when discussing roasts that just might have Monty Allen and Rip Taylor in attendance.

This infomercial/commercial is the worst. The folks at Time-Life have given us Soft Rock, a collection of mellow hits from the '70s and '80s. The hosts for this horror show are Air Supply. To be honest, I only liked one of their songs, "Lost in Love" and that's it. And when you get down to it, the ascension of these guys coincided with the decline of great soft rock. Coincidence? I think not...

Part 2: These guys look so relaxed. And look, they've got some nice lemonade too in case you'd like to "fall by." I'd like to dunk it over both their heads and take that guitar and smash it into little bits.

Youthful Essence- If I'm not seeing Jules Asner and Victoria Principal driving a semi for whatever goo their selling, I see Susan Lucci's hooey. This a still from this recent genre classic. Pictured is Eden Riegel and Alicia Minshew. All I have to say is thank god for this miracle elixir, those two are ancient.
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