Wednesday, September 26, 2007

People I Didn't Know Were Actually Real

Dear Diary, I feel so foolish, I thought a lot of these folks were fig newtons of someone's imagination. Imagine my shock when I found out some were real and some even IM'd me on Yahoo!

Milton Bradley- All these years I thought Milton Bradley was the name of a corporate merger, turns out he actually existed. Bradley was a crafty guy, a real go-getter and had a game called, The Checkered Way of Life. Wow, so exciting! Sadly we lost Milton in 1999 at the tender age of 153.

Duncan Hines- This dude was an actual person too. He was grader of restaurants and stuff. Isn't that exciting! His name became synonymous with "good eatin'" and like the money grubbing whore he was, he sold his name as a seal of approval.

My Shame: I'm so disappointed that Duncan Hines had nothing to do with the brownies that bare his name, not even the chewy kind. Duncan Hines is a liar and a cheat!

The Parker Brothers- Everyone remembers the Parker Brothers. Their string of hits is legendary. Oh, wrong Parker Brothers. Believe it or not, these guys are real too. The business for these guys came to include three Parker Brothers. By the end of the run, Eldra, Tito and Donny had signed on too. The Parkers sold out to General Mills (what?) in the early '60s and has subsequently kicked around to different companies.

Part 2: I'm tremendously boring...

Spoiler Alert!

Betty Crocker Isn't Real- Ain't that a shame? I've always thought that Betty Crocker was a great gal. Little did I know that she was simply a contrivance designed to fool the public. Not fair!

Update: I found a some pics of Betty Crocker. She looks real to me...

Aunt Jemima-Oddly enough, when I think about it, I'm still not sanguine about there being an "Aunt Jemima" in the pop culture universe. While time and a few changes have made it very idea less offensive, it has a dreadful beginning. Despite the wishes of many, Aunt Jemima wasn't a real lady. That wasn't good enough however. Throughout the years, women were enlisted to be "Aunt Jemima" for personal appearances. I'm getting queasy now...

Casper is real and owes me $5.00
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