Friday, January 05, 2007

Commercial Nightmares

Oh hi. It seems that I've actually regressed, I've getting scared of infomercials and commercials. My nerves are so fragile--here's a few of the main offenders.

Wow, she's really going through with that Bedazzling thing, huh? I have to admit I thought Tana was very cute during her season on the Apprentice. Now she's apparently gone over to the cheesy side full time with this old-timey and pointless device. The Bedazzler, the very idea is preposterous. Really, if you think you need studs on your clothes and you aren't, like, time-travelling--you may have some problems.

Brings back memories. I had to put Donald in a Full Nelson that afternoon. What's bad? The very idea of this commercial. Donald Trump's now trying to get people like me to lose their money and pay for get-rich scheme. I can see it now, I buy the DVD, the 8 track and the facts and fotos --and get big nothing in return. Yeah right. Donald's host in this is the lovely Anne Marie Howard and she propped him up the whole time...

This commercial is completely unsettling. First off, Bobby Rydell is in it, 'nuff said. Oh and is this thing filled with revisionist history. Everything is so squeaky clean, you'd think people didn't even screw back then. They did--to these songs.

Bobby Rydell at my blog's New Year's Eve gala...

There's that Cingular commercial. This is pretty normal stuff--until you really look at the decor in these fake houses. What is going on? Check out that guy's "entertainment center." Forget about retro, this is straight-up old-timey

His love interest's home isn't any better. Really, what is going on, I haven't seen fixtures like that in many a moon. Heh, many a moon--wow, I'm so old...

The basket is where he keeps his crack cocaine...

I know everyone has seen this dreadful hunk of metal n' rubber advertised about at 3AM. It's called the Hoveround and I've got to say what a dream machine that is. It's not a wheelchair, and not a scooter--it's a whooter.

The Annoyance Factor: In the commercial the always annoying "You Made Me Love You" is the "theme" music. How disgusting.

Oh no! My whooter!
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