Sunday, October 22, 2006

Goodbye Ford Taurus and Good Riddance

I got some sad news, Ford is going to stop producing the Taurus. There's only one thing to say to that: What took em' so long? I've had a ton of bad experiences with this vehicle so don't expect me to get out the crying towel over this. There's only one thing to say: Buenos Noches!





It was in a Ford Taurus where Mel Gibson embarked on his career-threatening night of debauchery. In fact, Mel called me from it and said, "Jason, I'm going to cut loose and drink again--and I'm in my Taurus!" Sadly I couldn't catch up with Mel and we all know what happened next...





Little Richard is a big fan of the Ford Taurus. You know what else he likes? Kidnapping people. I was hitchhiking and saw Little Richard, he waved, stopped--and that's all I remember. Our friendship has never been the same after that...









Now this one's a toughie. I saw my friend Keith Urban driving his Taurus "all crazy." He saw me, put on brakes and said, "Jason, I need dope!" I was sickened, the Taurus is a family car and it wasn't meant for Keith Urban to get his kicks. I called an intervention and hopefully things are back to normal.



An Update: Things aren't back to normal. There's a pic of Keith all zoned out and chasing after me...
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