Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Mel Gibson's F'd Up Weekend: A Review

You know what? I was getting ready to do an essay on Super Golden Crisps when a more pressing matter came to my desk. My mailbox was jammed packed full of the usual stuff, hard-core porn and requests about Mel Gibson's mugshot. I had to address Mel first and review his pics from his "I'm f'd up" weekend..."

<-----What I see is a lost man, a scared or "scurred" man who is clearly out of control. His gaze seems friendly, but is essentially empty, like a cereal killer. Mel's hair is slicked with sweat--that caused that top deal to flop down like Bill Haley and the Comets. The shirt is the textbook print and fabric of those who go on benders. They want comfort because, basically, that shirt's going to be worn for an extended period. The cut seems to be somewhat recent, but given Mel's paydays it's a bit cheap... Frightening Gaze: A+ Dirty Face: A- Nick Nolte/James Brown Scale of Horror: B-

Look at that fool shit-faced drunk. Got to say I feel for Mel in these gruesome photos, so out-of-it and he looks like he reeks. I bet he's talking a ton of gibberish too. I bet that girls waited years to meet him--and look at the digusting condition he was in. Shame!

Here's a pic of Gibson having "a spell." We all know he recovered and was able to denigrate a whole bunch o' folks shortly after.

I knew it!
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