Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Pop Culture Idiot: Disgruntled Employees...


I normally don't post about inner office business, but this time my good name is on the line. Due to the actions of my staff, I have to do something affectionately known as "taking out the trash." I'm sorry I have to do this in such a public fashion.



The internet has been buzzing about this news and I can confirm it: Justin Timberlake will no longer be a part of Pop Culture Idiot. It's become apparent that Justin's lax editorial issues have a lot to do with him being a big drug head. Below is an excerpt from a recent article.




...'I've done way too many drugs already...I'm just like everyone else, I get completely plastered, I've done my fair share of drugs and I've been caught places with my pants down; it's just I make sure there are no cameras around. My boss Jason is pretty cool with it, he says, 'Smoke em' if you got 'em,' I guess that means heroin too."



I Say: Quit lying.

Status: Dismissed for being a "drug attic."






You know you've been in the business too long when your mentor and spiritual advisor is talking crazy and dealing in sabotagey. See, he wants to break camp and start his own blog but I'm not letting him go. He's going to honor his contract, take a 99% pay cut and act like he likes it.



A note to Mayor McCheese: Run tell that!








Of course that's Randy Jackson, producer, a member of out-of-gas era Journey and a judge on American Idol. Randy and I were talking shop and we had a handshake agreement about him being an editor on this blog. We were doing great work until he became a total whiner. I don't need to hear that mouth!


Randy Jackson's Pop Culture Idiot Status: Traded for Oscar Gamble, Gaylord Perry and a player to be named later...





Ex-PCI employee Carson Daly looks on after he dropped an anvil on me...

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

It's just sad when you have to let employees go. But don't grieve for Justin, he has an aged, bad skinned, annoying, three-day bender everyday looking blond actress to go home to at night. And he's got his acting career (Edison Force now on DVD!)I think he'll be just fine.

Unknown said...

Yeah you're right Jason, I won't feel too bad. I'm going to miss Justin's can-do attitude! :) I certainly agree about Cameron Diaz, I never was crazy about her. From the looks of it, Justin's acting career's not going well. Good! LOL.

Anonymous said...

I think Cameron Diaz looked her best in the God-awful move The Mask. Since then, she looks like every suburbanite chick I see shopping in the mall.

I caught Justin's resume online, and found it humorous that he listed his last job as "Jason's Whipping Boy". I'm not sure showing a disgruntled demeanor will be appealing to prospective employers.

I would like to see Timberlake take on "K-Fed" in a cage match to the death. I am fairly bored right now which is why I just can't stop typing.

Unknown said...

Yeah Steve, for me Cameron Diaz has been on a steep decline.

Jason's Whipping Boy? Nah, I'm a hard but fair boss, everyone knows that! :)

As for the cage match, I'm not sure we'll be able to see that. I'll settle for a good old-fashioned, drunken/druggy fight outside of some club. And really if "K-Fed's" career continues its downward trajectory, we might be seeing a lot of him on "The Surreal Life." Well, we can only hope, heh heh...

Anonymous said...

Dammit Justin. Why does someone so yummy have to be so damn stupid.

He said: "Some drugs haven't been legalised because it would ruin the other drugs like smoking. Nicotine is more addictive than heroin."

Yeah, I've never known someone to die from their first puff of a cig.

Idiot.

Unknown said...

Justin is "so damn stupid" Rob. Actually I think it comes and goes and doing whatever he's doing isn't helping him any.

That rationalization about heroin/nicotine was really, really lame. He can't be serious...