Saturday, July 01, 2006

David Hasselhoff, Injured--Reportedly Upset About Star Jones

You know, who's to say what Hasselhoff is upset about. I'm his confidant, I think David is upset about Star Jones. In fact he called me and said, "Jason, I'm upset about Star Jones." That's proof, ain't it? Get off my back! In any event he wants me to get the real story out. I told DH, sure and then he brandished a starter's pistol and chased me out of his stereo room. Here's the finished product:

Jackass David Hasselhoff underwent emergency surgery in London Thursday after slicing a tendon in his right arm during a freak shaving accident. In publicist speak, "freak shaving accident" means he was zooted out on something or other, jumped up, fell down and hurt "hisself."

According to the scam, I mean, reports, Hasselhoff either injured himself bumping into a glass shelf or hit his fool noggin on a chandelier. Hasselhoff ended up with a bunch of glass in his hand (a tantrum), had surgery and will report back to that purgatory affectionately known as, "America's Got Talent."

See, that wasn't so bad. Here's the "true"story, I don't believe a word of it...
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