Oh hi. Seems like Nick Lachey is being a gloomy gus. In Rolling Stone he's telling tales on his ex-wife Jessica Simpson. If you're like me, you don't want to wade through a long article, a summarization will do just fine.
The Problem: Nick's crying a lot in this article. I counted six or seven times. The reason is the breakup of his marriage. He felt that the MTV show Newlyweds intruded in their personal life and made Simpson and Lachey play exaggerated roles of their "characters" on and off screen.
If I Was Nick, I'd Be Crying Too. This time it's personal. Lachey stated that he was informed that his marriage was over. In short, Jessica gave him the cold shoulder, emotionally shut down and left Nick looking like a weenie.
Papa Joe Is The Devil I've been warning folks about Papa Joe via this blog for quite sometime. In the article Nick gives of 411 on Simpson's Evil Ways. Now here's a shocker, Papa Joe never did like Lachey and had his big nose in their business--and it sabotaged the relationship.
Wailing Away At Joe: You know he all but put a ladder to the side of the house to spy on Nick and Jessica's intimate doings. He looks like the type. There's a name for people like Joe, they're called a scuzzbucket.
Adam Levine's a Liar!: In this article Nick all but confirms that B-list "stud" Adam Levine (the squeaky voiced dude from Maroon 5) did get indeed get close with Simpson. Levine obliterated the Guy Code and said that he didn't "see" Jessica while they were married. Isn't that reassuring.
Recap: Adam Levine gets a lot of action despite his creepy looks.
Caught! This pic surfaced earlier this year. This is Jessica stumbling to a waiting car after a "night" with Adam Levine. Ooh! I'm tellin'! I don't feel good about connecting these dots but it's kinda fun.
It's all David Lee Roth's fault.