Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Commercial Annoyances

Dear Diary, here's a few of the commercials I don't like. I hope no one reads this, then people will see what a petty little man I am.



Carol Brady and Her Polident BS: Oh enough already. Just when I thought I shook her off like a bad dream, Florence Henderson has seemed to double back and become ubitiquous again. Haven't we suffered enough? I remember those ghastly commercials for Wesson and I'll admit, Florence did have Wessonality. Now, I just don't care.

Problem With Denture Commercials: The latest one I saw was Florence dancing with these guys for Polident PM or something. We're grown ups, we can cut the chit-chat, you're doing a commercial for fake choppers--you really can't/shouldn't gussy that up.

Midas Sell-Outs Fred and Barney: Isn't that delightful. You know, I don't know who has it worse with this one, Fred and Barney, Midas or us. What a shameful and idiotic commercial. I can't explain how sad it is to see my childhood heroes selling brakes. This spot deserves a special wake up call. Fred and Barney don't need brakes, their cars don't have any bottoms, plus they are pre-historic, the only time you'd see them is centuries before we existed and they don't exist. I gave myself a headache...

Subway: I'm on the fence about this. I find Jon Lovitz's Subway commercials irritatating. Other times? I want to pick up the TV and just chuck it. Wow, I guess I'm not on the fence. For some reason the ad campaign isn't working for me. Maybe it's because the Lovitz character here bares a resemblance to his Master Thespian role on SNL. Frankly it seems a waste for a franchise that can't even cough up good cheese.

Grin And Bare It: The Subway site offers clips from Lovitz's commercials. Goody. You know what's missing in all of them? The subminal need to eat. In its place? The pressing need to hurl.

Left Behind: You know it was a sad day for Jared Fogle fans when Subway put him on the backburner. Maybe he got an email saying to "cool it for a sec" or "You wanted to take a break didn't you? Well you got one, a long one." I certainly hope we see Jared again and if we don't, that's okay too...
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