Swanson's TV Dinners: Just Great...

"Jason, the TV dinner was top notch. The best in the history of eating and defecating. The peas and carrots were oddly chewy. The beef tasted like wet cardboard in salt goo. The potatoes had the faint aroma of Lysol, I loved it..."


Donald Trump is just giddy over that TV dinner. Keep this under wraps but Trump and I are about to do some A level business deals. We talked for a good while and for our meal we had two Swanson TV dinners. They had been frozen for close to three decades but that's neither here nor there. Donald's just getting out of the hospital, but in any event he is correct, that TV dinner was great. And when you think about it aren't all TV dinners great?



To be totally truthful I haven't enjoyed a TV dinner in close to 20 years. That's when microwaves became an option. Also the tin foil was replaced by plastic. I'm still not onboard with that. Call me old-fashioned but I think the aluminum tin/oven deal made everything on the Swanson menu "extra-good."

More BS: I particularly enjoy the cobbler portion of the meal. Although they say it's still available, it's certainly not like it was heated in that tin. The brownie/chocolate whatever? It's probably not chocolate at all.

Derelict in Duty: The Salisbury Steak. Once a dinner staple, the Salisbury Steak has declined in both taste and popularity. It's a darned shame.


There's the inventor of the TV dinner, the late Gerry Thomas. I've got to say, that dinner looks like one clammy mess...