Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Pop Culture Idiot Achiever of the Nanosecond: Bonzi Buddy

In short, "I Destroy Stuff."

Goodness comes in all forms, that's a trait shared by the Bonzi Buddy. I really hadn't had one on my computer in about 1,230 years so I decided to do some research. Turns out we can scrap that first sentence. Don't know what was up there. Some crazy rumors on the net that say Bonzi Buddy equals Spyware. That can't be for real. Or can it?

The early Bonzi was an enchanting presence on the internet. He was a green parrot full of jokes and play. I for one appreciated his wry humor and those government secrets he told me. It seems that having Bonzi "as is" wasn't good enough. I was instructed/forced to "upgrade." I knew trouble was coming. The new Bonzi Buddy was spyware, a total hard drive killer. To make matters worse, the parrot that I grew so close to had disappeared, replaced by a funny looking purple ape. Later editions include a creepy wizard that I swear infiltrated Yahoo messenger and ruined my chances with a fine young lady with his brusque talk.

The World vs Bonzi Buddy: The company that made Bonzi Buddy has been sued multiple times. Although everyone knows about his poisionous ways, Bonzi is still allowed to have a site where the thrill seekers get their kicks. Yep Bonzi likes hard-core porn.

A Near Miss: When I started this blog, Bonzi sent me some paperwork detailing an alliance. I love folks too much to be teamed up with an unneeded, annoying, cartoon figment. He wrote back and said, "I know what you mean..."
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