Tuesday, October 22, 2013

The Queen Latifah Show/Bethenny=Both Horrible

I don't want to live in a world where Queen Latifah has a talk show/AKA Goodbye Ya'll!!!

Wouldn't you know it. I was ready to take another trip and my editor pulled my coat and threw a Beta tape at me and told me to watch a television program. I couldn't believe it: Queen Latifah has a TV show?

Her first guest was John Travolta. He came onstage and did a little "hand" dance to Alan Robin Thicke's "Blurred Lines" and then he sat his A down. You know, knowing these two notoriously closed books they had a lot to not talk about. It was a boring interview. John looked strange too, like he was wearing an artist rendering of John Travolta Mask. In a way, I applaud Queen Latifah's show, it's brazenly and aggressively boring.

I have to stagger my viewings of The Queen Latifah Show (due to my nervous condition) and when I tuned in again, I saw Dolly Parton on there--rapping. There are no words.

Grade **

Queen Latifah's snooze fest proves one thing to me: There's worse and here it is:  Bethenny. For the uninitiated, Bethenny Frankel appeared in the Martha Stewart version of the Apprentice back in the early 1800's. She was also on Real Housewives of New York, did a stint on Chelsea Lately and pretty much pops up wherever there's a camera. Of course all of this didn't prepare her (or us) for seeing her as a talk show host. One word seems to sum up this undertaking: Disaster.

For some reason, Ellen DeGeneres is behind her and is an executive producer for this failure. When you think about it, it's not too shocking. Bethenny did a few ingratiating appearances on Ellen's show and of course was fat mouthing about her divorce, dating life and somehow how that groan fest translated into a talk show gig.

 Bethenny Frankel and Ellen DeGeneres in Help Me Ellen, Help!!

Did you see that? You know it's bad when they bring in the heavy artillery like this. According to reports, they're saying that Ellen is doing the back away motion in regards to the sinking ship called Bethenny. To shoot down those rumors, Ellen appeared kind of bored to honest but she had to do damage control.

From what I gathered, Ellen really wanted Bethenny to be set in LA, close to Ellen and her tutelage. Bethenny stayed behind and now has to make due with conference calls and conversations that start with, "Ellen's not here now, I take a message?"

Part 2: I don't know what Bethenny's looking so superior for, her show stinks like hot trash. Just look at her, like Ellen saved the day or something. She didn't save nothing! And you know what? I bet the rumors is are true. I bet they hate one another.

Part 3: You know, looking at Bethenny's logo, I couldn't help but be reminded of Rhonda, well Rhonda Morgenstern. Bethenny is kind of like Rhonda, except Rhonda was likable (cue '70s "wooo ooo" crowd noise..)

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