Friday, August 10, 2012

CBS Cancels "3": Diary of a Canceled Show

Rachel, Lydia and April
Oh, now they've done it. They're cancelling our bad shows. Remember them? Those are the gals from CBS's highly touted reality series, "3." It's over, already and the remaining episodes are sitting in affiliates stations like tins of old 5 'o clock movies and press releases from Woodsy the Owl. They don't deserve better! Here's a look at how a show turns into a big, big fail....

Looks like America met them, but didn't call back. In the saddest TV news ever, mean ol' CBS cancelled the dating show 3 after two measly episodes. Ain't that a shame? 3 was going to follow the romantic travails of three "diverse" women, you know, the mom, the young one and the mean one. Sadly folks weren't taken with any of it and decided to watch folks taking bird's eye peeps in storage bins. But get this. The show had the lowest premiere ratings for a CBS. Ever. Do you know how bad is? This is the network that brought us such gems as Gloria, AfterMASH and 2006's reality non-classic Armed and Famous. "3's" premiere was worst.

The first episode featured the "3" women who were searching for Mr. Right. The trio were as follows: Rachel Harley (the mom) Lydia Lopez (the twenty-something) and April Francis (the bizness woman.) The gals had a plethora of men to choose from. You know the types. The jocks, the goofy professionals, a few country fellas, a couple of almost scary hipsters, etc. Those wanting diversity didn't get a whole bunch. In a twist, a black male contestant showed up. You know this wasn't going to go well. In an afternoon of some sad goodbyes, April's dismissal aforementioned fellow was especially brusque and really uncalled for. In a moment of schadenfreude, moments later, a guy she wanted to date (some artsy fartsy guy) rejected her advances. Ha! That's when April had to go outdoors and cry with her "sisters." No I'm not bitter....

Rachel, April and Lydia.
The second show? Even worse. It was time to for the girls to meet the guys they liked. For you math whizzes, they each had to choose 6 and then that was whittled down to 4. If there were subsequent episodes, you'd see even more leave. The 3  had to drive to various parts of the country to see their intended ones. That's when you saw a bunch of bonding over snacks, kite flying and hand gliding. The highlights? Few. Rachel the Mom met even more men not suited for her and Lydia spent her time being young. Of course April put on her black hat yet again. This time the target was her "next store" neighbor Nathan, who creeped into the competition. They had a picnic and he sent him marching on his way before he got to open up his Hunt's Snack Pack. Later she found other "connections" with guys who live 394433,324 miles away from her.

Reality Don't Never Lie: After its last Sunday broadcast tanked hard, CBS didn't waste any more time and put 3 out of its misery. The blandness of the contestants (Rachel was cute though) was too much to take. And oddly enough, given the different ethnicities and unique characteristics of, well, everyone, 3 played it too safe--at its own peril.

Rating: **
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