Wednesday, October 04, 2006

My Favorite Celebrity Sex Tapes

Oh hi, this is James Brown. Oops, wrong script. In any event, I think it's time we talk about something no one ever discusses: Sex tape. You know, you put "sex" in a search engine, and you come up empty, no pics, no nothing. What gives? I'll have to be a maverick and talk about this stuff...




I'm concerned about Screech. First I was feeling a bit sorry for him and his domestic woes, the next thing I hear is that he was having fun on this sex tape. Here Screech is with two women reportedly doing a ton of stuff and something called a Dirty Sanchez. I'm no prude, but I don't even know what that is. Frankly, if this is a true sex tape, I hope he's with his wife and leaving that freaky stuff to Zach Morris.


Mr. Belding also did a sex tape. It's a solo venture although John Ratzenberger makes a cameo appearance.











Ugly has a few tapes too...Now this is something I've got to miss. I cannot see why anyone would want to see Paris Hilton have sex. It's beyond me. I'd rather watch old McDonald's commercials on YouTube.








The Go-Go's have a tape floating around too. From the descriptions I read it's mostly them f'ed up on coke and not doing a whole heck of a lot. I want to see it anyway. Something tells me the '80s milieu and hearing them talk about "stuff" is a total win-win for me...

Note: I said "milieu" no wonder I can't get a date...








Best Sex Tape Ever: Jayne Kennedy... I had heard about an alleged tape featuring Jayne and her ex-husband Leon Issac Kennedy. I had to get my people on it and they finally delivered tape on my doorstep by way of a stork. Way to rock it old-school...

Review: The quality was awful, the tape was blurry but it was action-packed! The downside was seeing Leon Issac Kennedy, in fact I had to avert my eyes whenever that ham appeared on screen. The good out weighed the bad however. Jayne Kennedy is clearly the star of this video. One word: Wow. Jayne was working out, in layman's terms, she brought it. I laughed, I cried....

Other Stuff: Throughout this 50 minute video the world's worst radio station was playing tracks like "Blue Moon," "The Letter" and "Shake Rattle and Roll." I was insulted, it blocked out Jayne's "talking."
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