Saturday, October 15, 2005

McDonald's McFailures

After scaring myself with the very idea of the Burger King mascot, it made me think of other horror stories via the fast food business. What chain would be responsible for such ghoul? You guessed it, Mikey D’s.

McDLT- The McDLT had a brainy idea. Unlike those hamburger hedonist that brazenly piled their lettuce and tomatoes on a hamburger, the McDLT was going to play Einstein and separate the two. The tag line for the commercial was, “The hot stays hot and the cool stays cool.” How long was this going to last? Is there any upside to cold lettuce in a hamburger? Despite the build up, the hot was warm, the cool was warm, the styofoam container created a clammy mess.

Disclaimer: According to my research, the McDLT had been in existence since 1985. It didn’t get to my area until the early ‘90s. Thanks for the delay, I didn’t miss a thing.

Arch Deluxe- The Arch Deluxe was for the supposed discerning hamburger fan. In short, this was another valiant effort that resulted in total failure. What the Arch Deluxe was simple, a burger, a bakery bun, a mix of Dijon mustard and mayonnaise. In short, it was throw-up by way of the drive-thru. In a sense, the Arch Deluxe couldn't outrun the truth. Wendy's used better products, Burger King, a better cooking process. A hamburger without those variables seems to be destined to join the ranks of the also-rans. That's where this ended up. It barely lasted beyond 1997 although the other sandwiches from the “Deluxe” line are renamed and are still available.

Big N' Tasty: All told, the Big N' Tasty is doing oddly well. Someone who isn't a fan and had a wretched experience with it might be inclined to try it again. Why? Because they might think it wasn't that bad. Thing is, it always is that bad. It's the same condiment smeared beef cardboard it always is, with or without cheese.

The Hurl Bucket is nearby just in case...
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