Monday, July 11, 2005

Who Remembers Crazy Cow? He Was Crazy!





You know time’s whipping by when useless gunk takes on a nostalgic tone. The internet is filled with lists and lists of canceled and or hard-to-find food items. The cynic in me wonders? Was that stuff really good? I don't know about a lot of products, but these? They were great, well except for one...


Crazy Cow- This was a General Mills thing. It was delicious. Basically Crazy Cow was quite tasty corn based pellets with a chocolate flavor. The best chocolate imaginable. Straddling the line between a cheap, “choco” taste and one that was—well, great, this was essential eating. The cereal claimed it would make chocolate milk and darned if it didn’t. Crazy Cow also came in a strawberry flavor. Plans for a reunion were sadly curtailed when Chocolate Crazy Cow and Strawberry Crazy Cow finally met one another and didn't excatly hit it off...

Almost Home Cookies- Well, if “Home” is a place where shitty cookies are made. This was a great idea and so simple, make store bought cookies, softer. Well at least softer than molar shattering ginger snaps. Nabisco offered lots of buildup, tons of be-bopping and scatting; the end result? Almost Home was one of the oddest textured cookies ever. This product seemed to lose its money making footing by the time Billy Joel released "Stormfront" and a ton of us are happy with that fact. And in a related story, Keebler’s Soft Batch cookies are still on the market. Some things never change—they still taste horrendous.

Pepperidge Farm- Brownie Nut- I think that’s what they were called, I used to go in a trance at the very thought of them. The original recipe made for a mouth watering cookie. Although I was about 9 or 10 around their peak, even I could appreciate what a good-looking and satisfying cookie they were. All I remember is, smooth, with nuts—and great. By the mid ‘80s the recipe changed, the real taste was gone and a Brownie Nut package all but promised 4 in tact cookies in a bag of crumbs.

Sealtest Ice Cream Sandwich-Oh yeah, I’m thrilling my audience now, no wonder my mailbox is jammed, I only talk about the good stuff. This was another reliable product. We all know that ice cream sandwiches are one of the most hit or miss entities in the desert aisle. In fact, I can think of a horrible ice cream sandwich taste right now. It’s not pretty. Sealtest certainly bucked the square of goo/sugary cardboard trend. With ice cream that was rich and wafers that were often like tougher than balsa wood (not a bad thing.) At one time ice cream sandwiches were a staple of any “whatever” experience. Oddly enough they played out faster than the twist. Must be all of the different brands, flavors and products that pushed ice cream sandwiches to the "remember when’s." Darn shame…

Mayfair Cookies- Indulge me this last one, it’s a goody. Of course Mayfair was kind of cookie under the Nabisco banner. And were they ever good. This was an assortment deal from Nabisco, and a top-notch one at that. The presentation? Great. The Oreo type cookies were especially good. My favorite was probably this chocolate cookie that had white cream filling. Keystrokes don’t do any of these mamma jammas justice. But alas, Mayfair didn’t make it past the ‘80s. Damnit, I'll never forget or forgive!
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