Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Kind of Watching It and Hating It TV: The Chew

Where's my Susan Lucci, Angie and Jessie, Tad the Cad? All decamped to a shifty online unit. Sadly, All My Children is off the ABC sched, replaced by a show odiously entitled: The Chew. This daily cluster f is going to be hosted by Mario Batali, Daphne Oz, Clinton Kelly, Michael Symon and Carla Hall. Who's that? Who's there?

I watched this and guess what? I lost my appetite. Irony! And you know what else? The promos pulled a fast one. I thought the Chew was going to film these five wrecks separately in taped segments. Nope. Instead, these jackasses are in front of a live audience. Ooh thrilling! I can't wait for this scintillating chemistry to gel like old kitchen grease with bugs inside swimming for their lives.

The debut show was standard stuff. Fake enthusiasm, food cooking on the griddle, lots of chitter-chatter. No one cared. For the most part, the audience sat motionless like they were a painting from at an old yard sale. Something special happened however. After Daphne Oz was cooking up some slop and her dad Dr. Oz showed up. People applauded for him like he was the Beatles or something. It made me sick.

As far as name recognition goes, I thought that Mario Batali was going to figure more in the debut show. Not really. He wasn't really featured until the last 10 minutes. When he finally did appear, he was off set, grilling stuff outside, "Opossum..." he whispered to those who happened by. And really how gross looking a cook is Batali. I bet he doesn't even wash his hands probably. I can't stand a dirty cook!

Part 2: There's no way around it, the show is rank. This should not have replaced a legendary show like All My Children. The very idea is revolting, telling and very sad.

 Grade * 1/2 
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