Wednesday, May 19, 2010

The CBS Massacre

Oh hi. How am I doing? Not good. It seems like the news of CBS's cancellations isn't agreeing with me.Look at the pic on the left, it's my new "home", the nervous hospital...

I've been watching TV a many a year, I'm old-school, although I can talk with the kids about their hip-hop/disco, I go back to Lucan, the Mothers-in Law, the New Ozzie and Harriet Show. You know, the classics. You know what's joining them? These shows. Take a look at the list, the Ghost Whisperer, The New Adventures of Old Christine, Accidentally on Purpose, Cold Case, Numbers, Miami Medical, Gary Unmarried. Ooh wee! Body blow, Body blow! Let's review this disaster, from my sick bed!

The Ghost Whisperer-Scatman Crothers dropped this bomb on me via IM and he said, "Jason, they just took off the Ghost Whisper, I hope you're satisified!" Like I had anything to do with it. And while we're at it, Scatman Crothers can't spell! The Ghost Whisperer had a long run even when it got extra crappy by way of killing Melinda's husband, making her fall in love with a handyman who took on her dead husband's soul. Did you know the new guy only looked like her ex to Melinda? That's nice There was also a kid too and he had special powers. Oh god I watched this show...

Grade: **1/2 Dotched a notch for Jamie Kennedy.

Numbers- Didn't this show has a special spelling? Like I'm going to put a 3 where an "e" should be. Got to tell you I always hated this show. And sadly I was the target audience: A geek. Something about this program really annoyed me. I think it was Judd Hirsch puttering around doing something close to nothing. He deserved better. I did too. So does everyone--and we're getting it, by CBS putting this barker out of its misery.

Grade: **

Gary Unmarried- Don't you hate it when promising shows don't fulfill their potential? Well if you didn't see it, Gary Unmarried would have made you're blood boil. At one time this was a good show--and then it wasn't. The decline started when there seemed to be less of the lovely Paula Marshall and more of Gary's stoopid h jinks at the radio station. Talk about a cautionary measure. When a show's lead changes careers for no apparent reason--your show is declining. And this did--badly...

Grade: **1/2 The half-star is for Paula Marshall.

Accidentally on Purpose-I watched this show by accident and threw up on purpose. Now it's getting personal. They are cancelling shows that actually suck. You know how it is when a show really isn't at the end and is still enjoyable? This wasn't that show. This was rank. , Libby Sturgis, Jenna Elfman played an older lady (my age) who got knocked up by the oldest looking 23-25 year old ever. I swear this guy was in my class, he stole my Shaun Cassidy 45's and my Brownie Nut cookies. Thief!

Grade: *1/2 A mess that makes Rules of Engagement look like Taxi.

Miami Medical-  This show lasted as long as my relationships: A little over a month. I think hubris claimed this program. When I watched it all I saw was production values, an odd tint, interchangeable/disposable characters. In short, I saw a bunch of nothing. Sad that Lana Parilla was in a great show Swingtown--and had to appear in this wreck. Hey look it's OmarGooding. His dad is Cuba Gooding. He's one of my favorite singers. Did he watch the show? Nope.

Grade: * Corny as hell...

Cold Case- Oh no, don't tell me this! It's crunch time now. Actually I was a big fan of Cold Case and then I wasn't. Despite the ok ratings, it looks like this show is going to disappear Without a Trace. Unlike a lot of the aforementioned shows, this drama's best days probably are behind it and it's been that way--since the 2006-07 season. You know I liked Lily Rush a lot in the early seasons. She was so awkward, but deep and loving, liked seeing her with her cat. As the years progressed that quirkiness was lost with all of the characters.

Grade: *** This show did some great episodes...

The New Adventures of Old Christine-Oh this really sucks. Really I don't want to give it too much thought because it's possible that this could be picked up by another network. Frankly there's really no reason why this was canceled. I don't care about the ratings, it's the principle of the thing!

Part 2: Someone on the internets floated an interesting theory. Given the severe extent of the cancellations, perhaps it is a cost-cutting measure to pay (wait for it) Charlie Sheen. Interesting, some of these shows just don't deserve to join Union Square on that figurative scrap heap.

Grade ***1/2
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