Goodnight Coco

The Tonight Show With Conan O' Brien- I've been in lock down for the past few weeks. I shanked a guard, escaped and look who's back! Upon my arrival I found that creaky ol' Jay Leno stole the Tonight Show from under Conan's feet. Wrong! My crack staff has told me the specifics and I'm still horrified. But I'm undeterred. I'm going to break this down for my fellow dyslexics who just want the facts, or the stacfs...







Conan was named the host of the Tonight Show about 11 months ago. He'd been on for 7 months. His ratings were low--and much lower than Crazy Uncle Jay. To make matters worse, Fathead Jay was laying in the cut with his own prime-time show at 10 PM. It tanked, it was canceled...



Look a bird... Anyway NBC had a great plan to move Jay to 11:35 for a half-hour show. Jay said sure. Conan said no because it would move the Tonight Show to 12:05, Jimmy Fallon to 3 AM and Carson Daly on the streets where he'd be knocking people in the head for spending change. It wasn't to be. Coco put his pimp hand down and let folk know he wasn't going out like Poindexter. Good for him. Leno's going back to the Tonight Show, O' Brien got something like 45 million dollars to go away. Good deal, I wish someone who give me 45 million dollars to go away, at this point I'd take 25 cents.




Aftermath- After the last show, I went on a crime spree and just became a one-man destroying machine. See what Jay Leno made me do!

Episode Review- Miami Vice Borrasca b/w Too Much, Too Late

Another year, more time watching TV. Just to prove how busy my social schedule is, I've got not one but two Miami Vice reviews from ep's from the 5th season.



Miami Vice- Borrasca /Episode Review


Who knows what Borrasca meant. Seems the unit was chasing after yet another undefined drug dealer. The opening sequence was quite eerie/unsettling. After that upset, we’re back in the business of a good 5th season episode. But wait, there’s something different here. Don Johnson was off doing another movie no one went to go see so Tubbs teamed with (gasp) Switek. Fans of the series know that during this time Ol’ Stan was slowly transforming from comic relief to a more essential member of the squad. On this episode we got to see Stan and Tubbs try out their chemistry--and it wasn’t too bad!


Oh Stan- On this episode we saw the seeds of Switek’s gambling addiction.
In fact his sickness was so pronounced that he called his bookie and placed a bet on whether Tubbs would be shot in his brainium before the night was over. Stan’s sick!


The Missing Beard- For some reason Tubbs/Philip Michael Thomas had a beard in his first scenes and in the next scene, lost it right quick. That national tragedy did bear a mention from Switek. From the looks of it, the other scene was from the previous season. Cheapskates!
Don’t know what happened to his beard. Maybe the powers that be told Philip he could grow his beard on his own time and poof, it was gone..


Get Jamie Sanchez (who?)- To further try to hide the fact that Crockett was no where to be found, Castillo’s flat feet hit the streets and he posed as a high level Cuban hi-roller. Tubbs first had the idea to recruit the previously unknown Jamie Sanchez for the role. Marty decided it was a gig he could handle. What a crock. As an "another person" Marty walked, talked and sounded like a whole lot like Castillo. Nice try...


Grade ***




Miami Vice-Too Little Too Late- This episode again explored the love affair between Valerie (the lovely Pam Grier) and Rico. We all know Rico wasn't during a whole heck of a lot during the years they last canoodled, as for Valerie, she remained a mystery. Matter of fact, Val hadn't even called Tubbs until she once again needed law enforcement help.


Valerie showed up at the police station in her father’s suit to meet Sonny and Rico. While the sparks were again flying, they both were distracted by Valerie's crack head friend, her whining daughter and the world's worst drug dealer named Swain. Not to be thwarted, Rico was still thinking with his weenis and tried and succeeded in getting Pam Grier naked, again. All wasn't great though. In the gripping drama portion of the episode Rico proposed to Valerie and didn’t get the response he desired. What does he do? Cry.


Lessons I Learned- In this episode I learned that Tubbs might not be the world’s BFF. When a justifiably world-weary Sonny failed to once again jump on the Valerie Train (yet again) Rico got a little smart in the mouth and stated that Crockett was bitter ever since his wife got murdered. Let’s recap: Sonny’s wife was murdered in cold blood and Tubbs his trying to sound off. Sonny later went into Rico's locker and stole his activator. Ha, now what! Go see Valerie with a dry head.


Geek Info: This episode never was broadcast on NBC, it did show up on USA in 1990. Giving the facts of the series finale, Tubbs did move back to the Bronx and who knows, maybe Rico and Valerie hooked up. God I'm so sad...

Grade ***1/2

The Tyra Banks Show: Goodbye!

For those who haven't heard the sad news, perhaps you might want to look away. Me? This is the best news ever! According to reports, The Tyra Banks Show is going off the air next spring.

"This will be the last season of The Tyra Show," Banks tells People. "I've been loving having fun, coming into your living rooms, bedrooms, hair salons for the past 5 years."

For real though, has it been 5 years, it just seems like 3 long years. Banks continued and say (sic)... " "My next huge steps will allow me to reach more women and young girls to help us all feel as fierce as we truly are."

Isn't that quaint, it's in that quote that makes her so annoying. And really, I bet she wants to close up her little broken down show to make it seems like it was a bigger deal then it was. Banks isn't that daft, she doesn't want to end up like Jerry Springer doing the same stuff year after year. I'm proud of her, she wants to leave while the show is still a little worse than mediocre with no hope of improvement.


Recent sad developments... As we preparing this article for Vanity Fare, I found out that other issues are starting to surface. The scuttlebutt is that Tyra isn't walking away on her own volition, she was let go because of financial concerns including the LA to NY move and her big ass check. Ooh liar!