Thursday, July 28, 2005

Kind of Watching It TV: Talk Shows That Reek

These monstrosities have been haunting me. With their odd looking audiences, corny-ass studio patter, oh I've had enough! And in some cases, I'm not the only one. As David Ruffin shouted, "Waaah!/It's a nightmare!"


The Jane Pauley Show- Seems like the world has lost its yen for talk show hosts with consternation brow and little of no facility at the job at hand. And what a job it was. This program seemed to fall into each and every trap that typifies your talk show junker. First problem? This was lousy. Pauley gave it a go but the ghosts of Leeza Gibbons, Richard Bey and Carnie Wilson all but choked the life out of the whole shebang. By March of 2005, it was wrap on the twitching and the phony grins. Around the time of the mercy killin' a NBC press release stated that the Jane Pauley Show, although way cancelled, was going to continue to be seen until September of '05. Fantastic...

Status: Done, but there are talks to launch a network that plays nothing but these episodes, forever.

Life&Style- Now this is fatuous mess. We've certainly seen this before. With co-hosts, Jules Asner, Cynthia Garrett, Lynne Koplitz and Kimora Lee Simmons were get a ton of yakking and not a whole heck of a lot of content. Let's see, Simmons often isn't there, assumedly recovering from the aches and pains of Russell Simmons climbing on top of her. Garrett is as skilled and bland as ever. Jules Asner is so boring she's nearly opaque. Koplitz is basically the traveling road show of Joy Behar: The Early Years. This might make you appreciate the View or maybe not.

What's Up?: It's done--according to reports. I'll believe it when I don't see it.


The Larry Elder Show- This dude is bru-tal. I'm not a fan of silly shows like this but everytime I do tune in, it seems like he's doing yet another claptrap on interracial dating. If not that he's adding to the cultural decline by doing yet another crappy husband/put-upon wife deal. What if you don't agree with Elder? Oh my. He sits like a petulant child saying a pack of bromides until the audience finally responds. He's a whiny baby.

Status: Although it needs to take a hard right down Ricki Lake Boulevard, the show is set to come back next season.



Dr. Phil- Yeah Dr. Phil. You know Dr. Phil was an interesting presence on the Oprah Winfrey Show. On his own, he's often revolting. From ramming those 600 page of nothing books down our collective throats to acting like a Mr. Know-it-all, "Phil" has become an annoyance. If anything McGraw's priorities do seem a bit askew. One show he's all but advocating using plastic explosives to blast a moocher off the couch. The next one? He's coddling some domestic abuser who's punching his wife black and blue. "You're not an animal..." Dr. Phil might say as the rest of the world screams, "Yes he is--moron?"
This is what I want to hear: "THIS SHOW HAS BEEN CANCELLED AND IS NO LONGER TAPING."

Ahh yeah!!
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