The Decline of Dr. Phil

I've got some not so sad news to report, Dr. Phil's show is failing. I don't know how this happened but it's clear, Dr. Phil's run as a successful talk show host is in the past tense. As of January 2009, Phil's ratings dropped 27 percents (sic) and you know it's been tumbling on down since then. The biggest segment of the population causing this exodus? You guessed it, women. It seems like women have grown tired for Dr. Phil's shenanigans. And to be real about it, Dr. Phil hasn't said anything of any importance in three years, three long years.


In short order, "Dr. Phil" went from being a good show to a not so good show. In recent years he's encountered failures like the "Dr. Phil House", "Dr. Phil's MTV Beachhouse" and of course the Dr. Phil Electroshock Therapy Tour. All of these things, however well intentioned, didn't bring back those viewers who took a cab on him. This year the Dr. Phil program will start in an unenviable position of falling ratings and hosted by a man who doesn't know what the heck he's talking about.


Notes: I was on Oprah's site trying to find some Dr. Phil info and it just led to old links, 404's, brok'n internets stuff. In fact the newest pic/article I could find was from 2001. What happened to that relationship. Heavy sigh...

Part 16: Dr. Phil's ratings are now hovering around the danger zone of 2.5 million. It was over 7 million during his heyday, you know the days when we wore flowers in our hair, had love-ins and of course when Totie Fields guest hosted. Halycon days those were...

Worst Men in the Universe

I'm heated. Normally August is a month where bloggers take a break. Sadly my editor doesn't feel that way, he's an evil mean something or other. Plus, he wants me to stop being nice and revert to my old ways. Done!





Ryan O' Neal- Now I've had problems with Ryan O' Neal for the longest time, he just seems skeevy. Was he always like this? Yep. There's apparently stories about him that are truly revolting. From my investigations, it looks like the 1975 film Barry Lydon is where the crazy begin (sic). O' Neal blames this film on the downfall of his career. It is also this Stanley Kubrick waste o' film where he gave a then 11 year old Griffin some cocaine to stay awake though the whole thing. Ah, thanks dad. To make matters worse Ryan was arrested for narcotic not to long ago. That pic isn't from his stint on Bones, it's his mug shot. Smile!



A Travelogue Of Wrongdoing: I'd be here all day if I listed all of Ryan's transgressions, sadly the latest one is a little sadder then the rest. During the funeral of Farrah Fawcett, Ryan accidentally hit on his estranged daughter Tatum O' Neal without knowing it was her. Gulp! Bad on so many levels...



Morgan Freeman- Awful awful human being. You know, Morgan had a nice reputation--that is until the truth reared its, its, ahh you know the rest. Seems like Morgan's rock-solid marriage was a sham. He and his wife Mynra had an "open marriage." That puts a shudder in my bones. One of the women on his "to-do list" was his (gasp) step-granddaughter. Seems they've been carrying on for a decade. She's 27. Morgan's 103.

A Little Bit of Jealousy: To be honest, Morgan's 72 he just looks way older. I have to wonder how Morgan swung this. Women in their 20s treat me like I'm one of the Mills Brothers and Morgan's been dating this young girl for years.. But then again, she's probably going to kill him and she'll live off his money. Yay!




Ed Swiderski: What is this, the 15th edition of the Bachelorette/Bachelor? Scrap it. For this season ol' boring Jillian got a chance to pick from her own pool of stone-cold losers. This is the wreck she ended up with, Ed Swiderski (heh looks like swindle.) If his clear phoniness towards Jillian on camera wasn't enough, Swiderski reportedly continued to date two women during his courtship with Jillian. He even had the nerve to tell one that he wasn't attracted to Jillian at all. That's So Wrong. Sure you're on 14:59 and a half but I haven't forgotten you, you're pure evils.




Sure Jillian's crazy boring with her hot dog talks her family (groan, talk about wanting to say single) and her Jillian-ness. She deserves better!






Joe Jackson- Oh lord they don't come no worser. It's not out of school to say this jackass has been wreaking havoc since the silent era. What things he must have done to those children, mental scarring them, whipping them with his belt and sending them to bed without their dessert. Sadly the loss of Michael Jackson also means we have to look at this, this, person again. Yuck/cry.


Part 2: During the days after Michael's demise, we saw Joe wasn't exactly torn up. He was smiling for the cameras, hanging out with one of the Chi-Lites (why God why) and trying to talk about his business ventures. Trying is the operative word, Joe's barely intelligible now, like he ever was. He's horrible. And you know what? I hope he doesn't get anywhere near Michael's children. We don't need him ruining his fifth generation of impressionable children.



Look who's wearing Katherine's old sofa cover...

I Hate My Television

It would come to this, a boring misanthrope would finally reach his limit. I can't stand TV anymore, there's a myriad of reasons, here's a few.




The Saved by the Bell Reunion: Look a' there, it's Mr. Belding and Screech. It seems that both of them are not to be included in the upcoming Saved by the Bell Reunion. I'm devastated. The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. I don't know what that means either. The reasons why these two aren't invited are many, ranges in the thousands. As we remember Dennis Haskins played the principal of Bayside. He wasn't at the Max, over in Jessie's room or hanging out with Zack. Wait a minute he was. Dustin "Screech" Diamond's had his own share of problems. The big one? He's a total creep.

Fun Fact: According to the IMDB, both Haskins and Diamond appeared in close to 80 episodes of Saved by the Bell: The New Class. It ran from 1993 to 2000.







Kendra- I was channel surfing and I caught this mini-train wreck. I wanted to continue to watch but I couldn't do it. This a show about a Playmate or something. Any hoo, when I turned on Kendra she was calling Hef to let him know she was pregnant. Ol' Hef was putting on airs, acting like he barely knew who Kendra was. To whom am I speaking? Har har. While he put up a brave face, I bet Hef was saddened that the a man 57 years his junior whisked away one of his concubines. Between you and me I bet Hugh's sad he got that vascomy too.





Diana Dimond- Lord have mercy. Looks like Michael Jackson going toes up brought this wreck out of storage. Fans of Michael Jackson and trash tv should know this face. Dimond's a dour woman, the only time she expresses genuine human emotion is when she talks about suspicious bric-a-brac found at Michael's house. Entertainment Tonight (for some reason) has made her the resident Jackson expert. Like that show isn't crappy enough.






Billy Mays- We lost Billy Mays a while back. Clearly that's not going to stop him from showing up on TV for the definite future. Billy sold a lot of stuff, I thought it was all Oxy Clean, because of the shirt. I'm particularly taken with a new product, Jupiter Jack. It's apparently a hands-free apparatus, you plug this into your phone, set the radio dial on 99.3--and magic's supposed to happen. You hear someone talking on the phone where George Benson should be: Your car stereo speakers. Perhaps Billy was gearing up for some product that going to knock us out, that's why he had to bide his time with this Carol Wright garbage. Not much else to say except that seeing Billy whiz around town not talking on his phone--at this point, is totally creepy.