Motown Remixed

You know a word you don't hear much? Beaker, heh heh, yeah beaker... 


Here's a review of the recent Motown release, Motown Remixed. It's either going to be loved or hated. How do I feel...



Motown Remixed


When the idea of Motown doing a bona fide “remix” album of their classics hit, some people were not amused or even interested. To be certain remixing well-known and or songs from another era is an art form. And not surprisingly the “art” represented on Motown Remixed is as hit or miss as the label’s recent output. The problem isn’t so much the treading on classic ground as much as the tentative nature in which the remixers exhibit their respective skills. But then again sometimes that even works in the case of the album’s best track, the Jackson 5’s “I Want You Back.” Most of the other songs here simply don’t attain that magic or ease but it’s often close.


DJ Jazzy’s Jeff’s and Pete Kuzma’s take on “Papa Was a Rolling Stone” receives a hot, danceable mix and the song is buoyed by the edits and the tinkering with the vocals. That being said even that falls in and out of sync making it sound more manipulated than it ever had to be. It’s nothing compared to one particular track however. The Supremes “My World Is Empty without You” is turned from its danceable, pop minded sound to an anonymous mid 90’s ballad. It’s flat-out eerie. But in a sense at least “all-wrong” is better than the corniness giving to both “Keep on Truckin’” and a particularly cloying “Let’s Get It On.”


Unlike a lot of likeminded sets, Motown Remixed biggest failure is that it doesn’t get the party started. Other compilations like the recent Atlantiquity and especially 1999’s Everybody Dance! cohered like a “real CD.” In comparison Motown Remixed is more scattershot, a little showy and in the end not as courageous as it could have been.

Jason Elias


Editor's Note: Ha! Get a load of that. Well, in short the CD wasn't a whole lot of fun for me. A lot of the work sounded manipulated and that means there's too much, well, work being done. Certainly edits, etc are a part of the deal in albums like this, the trick is to make it as seamless and as adventurous as possible. Motown Remixed often didn't do that.

Notes about the Editor: He's a total jackass

Subway Jared, Still Annoying  


Jared sure looks happy in that pic, doesn't he? Little does he know the Pop Culture Idiot added its own special little condiment in the sandwich: Some good ol' Big H sauce. And yes, you're right Einstein, Big H hasn't been made in close to 27 years, don't tell Jared--he's about to hurl on his shoes.

Poisioning and 'gurgitatin' aside, Jared's getting on my nerves. I don't know why. He's been the pitchman for Subway for a good while now. At first I was a fan. Jared Fogle's weight loss was an impressive story. Seeing the before and after shots were particularly moving so much so I was close to tears. The early spots found a charming Fogle losing his heft that had to equal 4 or 5 people. He seemed so glad and inexperienced in front of the camera. And then he wasn't. Flash up a few years, Jared's spots have been increasingly pissy and busy body-ish.

He think he know it all--and all the while it looks like he's getting a little chunky again to boot. Let's be real, he was never svelte. Jared never was a textbook entry for muscle tone and or general aesethic excellence. In fact it was overlooked because he wasn't anywhere near his former Haystacks Calhoun like proportions. But now, the gloves are off, it's personal. The world is tired of Jared trying to force us to pound down one of Subway's hit or miss menu offerings. In layman's terms, we've had our fill of Jared too...

Thumbs Up? The Pop Culture Idiot Celebrates Pickwick Records

Yeah, Elvis didn't excatly look like that during his movie era, did he? Liars... 


You see the "P"? The Pickwick label means quality... 



For its utter worthlessness and ubiquity, I celebrate Pickwick Records. This was always a budget label. But I’ve got to hand it to them that fact didn’t impede the label from being more gauche, stingy and irrelevant than it already was.

Who can forget how Pickwick inserted itself into the whatever of popular music. By a certain point it obtained the tapes of everyone from the Beach Boys, Chuck Berry, classic Motown and pretty much a bit of all of the labels. Of course Pickwick couldn’t do it alone. The aforementioned labels had to lease the masters regardless of what Pickwick was known to do with them and that’s exactly what they did. Certainly many remember the atrocities Pickwick committed to their favorite songs and albums, but Pickwick isn’t applauded for its maverick spirit. And for that fact, I’ll do the celebrating. I love Pickwick Records.

This label, with its far reaching path of destruction is probably most noted for the way it ruined the perfectly good efforts it got hold of for some reason or another. The label often shaved off tracks in an “executive” decision so an album like the Jackson 5’s Maybe Tomorrow would come up a bit short in the songs department. In other atrocities, Pickwick always replaced the cover art of the album with inferior graphics too. Want dubious sound? You’ve got it, also Pickwick was known to often goose up the masters for no apparent reason. For that we say, job well done.

Wrecking the discographies of notable acts wasn’t the labels only pastime. Pickwick also had a truckload of junk albums from acts “sounding” like popular acts of the day. You know, stuff like the Songs of James Taylor by the Fire and Rain Band. Oddly enough that wasn’t a title, but you get the idea.

For all of those music fans who want to see how Pickwick is doing now? It’s too late. Pickwick went out of business by the early 80’s. None of their BS made it to the digital age and isn’t that great news?

First Hand Knowledge of Pickwick’s Fiendish Handiwork:


Jimi Hendrix-Jimi- Remember when finding some tape or something from Hendrix was all the rage? This 1975 release takes the cake. Certainly many labels, including Reprise, Capitol as well as many little labels weren’t above raiding the vaults. Often some good music was found there. Not on this trip. This album is full of mid 60’s doggerel playing, grunts and “spontaneous” laughs ‘n stuff. Oh yeah, this isn’t Jimi Hendrix.

The Jackson 5-Stand/Maybe Tomorow-Well this makes sense, doesn’t it. Get a group that’s slightly fading from the charts, sign a contract with a label like Pickwick, flood the market with inferior product and you’re off to the races. Maybe Tomorrow is the original release with omitted tracks. Stand? Well I’m not sure what it is, looks to be a mix of things with the songs from Goin’ Back to Indiana taking precedent. Foul. By 1974 Motown sent a lot of its product down Pickwick lane for no apparent reason. A few years later Motown also hit the budget line with its own crappy label Natural Resources. It followed the cheap label paradigm of suspicious masters, poor graphic art and a low, low price. The cover of Pickwick’s version of Maybe Tomorrow ended up being the cover of the 2005 Universal set the Jackson 5 Gold. Still doesn’t look that great.


Pickwick/RCA/Camden/Elvis- Like Big E didn’t have enough trouble. During the time Presley was trying to reestablish the non corny portion of his recording career, Pickwick/RCA/ Camden made sure that job was more difficult than it had to be. Above is one of the many, many gems and shoddy efforts Pickwick offered in the name of Elvis. As for Elvis, his work seemed to be more available on 8 track in comparison to vinyl. Wow, isn’t that reassuring…

Al Green Threatens To Pummel All Comers. Willie Mitchell Looks On... 


Now we're talking. See, I listened to the crowds, the business men and women, the cats on the corner and yes, I'll say it, the freaks. We've all got one thing in common: We want to hear some Al Green. We like reading about him too. Everything's Ok is good stuff...


Al Green’s-Everything’s Ok- Blue Note Records.




Al Green doing secular music isn’t too much of a surprise. Throughout his over 30 year career he’s been straddling between the religious and romantic often blurring the lines to the point where it seemed to freak him out. No worries here however. This biggest surprise is that Green is again paired with Willie Mitchell, the producer/mentor responsible for Green’s brilliant musical and commercial run in the ‘70s. For those who thought that 2003’s I Can’t Stop was the definitive statement, Everything’s OK is simply a sharper, less polite and more engrossing affair


The title track pretty much sums up this CD’s ethos; coasting on great groove rather than offering great songs. Like most of Green’s better and charmed efforts, Everything’s OK does get an amazing performance out of nowhere on Bruce Fisher and Billy Preston’s patently overripe “You Are So Beautiful.” It’s certainly not the world’s greatest song but Green gives it his full attention as the arrangement is as fulfilling and oddly sweet. The very idea of it seemed so spawn the sturdy, “Perfect to Me.”

Everything's OK like the best of Green’s best work with Willie Mitchell finds most of its emotion in pretty, well-arranged mid-tempo tracks. The playful “Build Me Up” sneaks in jazzy chords, smart changes and has Green harmonizing with himself, gladly doing the “love notes” he seemingly had sworn off of by the Carter administration. The equally horny, “I Wanna Hold You” gets there a whit better with its kinetic production and swaggering horn arrangement.


All through Everything’s OK it’s clear that Green is actually sounding like Al Green again which might be shocking for his longtime fans. Really the stuff is so good here the only true bump on this “Magic Road” is the low octane shuffler, “I Can Make Music.” It’s “all better” by the close of Everything’s OK however. The potentially cutesy and disposable “All the Time” is saved by a funky, hard rocking bridge. If there’s only downer, it’s the sound of this CD. Sometimes low hi-fi and veering towards the mono zone, it’s a far cry from the sonic excellence of 70’s Mitchell/Green product. That being said, with Green willing to embrace his eccentricity and charisma, Everything's OK proves to more than live up to its title.

Jason Elias

Pop Culture Idiot: Moment of Shame, Growing Pains: Old Time Rock and Roll

Mike Seaver: Traumatized



Jason Seaver: A Selfish, Selfish Man... 



Oh the indignity. Who can forget this massacre. Let's be real. Growing Pains was pretty much a Cosby Show knockoff for another network. The good news? The Seavers were probably better parents than the Huxtables. They certainly weren't as annoying and Carol Seaver didn't treat Jason like a total idiot (see Cliff and Clair.) Anyway that doesn't excuse the tragedy that occurred when Jason and wise cracking son Mike decided to sing together. This actually happened on the second season premiere. More often than not shows wait until the fourth or fifth season to drop such an S bomb.

(The Pop Culture Idiot pauses, sniffles and then continues.) What happened? Well for the Jason and the Cruisers episode, Jason got together with his old college band. Wow. All of the fake camaraderie and the other players in the episode are all forgotten. What's remembered? The sight and sound of Jason and Mike, Thicke and Cameron singing Bob Seger's "Old Time Rock and Roll." Together. The horror, the flashbacks. In fact I can still here Alan Thicke piling it on, singing about his "Old Time Rock n' Ro" like someone gave a damn. Cameron? He was probably on automatic pilot thinking of all of the offers that were coming in. And when we think about it, is anything cooler than singing with your dad? Yep, you're right, everything is cooler than singing with your dad....

Joe Torre is distraught. He just found out the All Music Guide pulled my review of the Trammps's "Mixin' it Up"

Ahh, look what you've done to him. 



You know you’ve done something mighty wrong to make Joe Torre cry. I used to write for the All Music Guide from 2000 to 2003. I did a lot of 70s and 80s R&B stuff. I was given das boot, well ‘cause. It’s fine to let me go—but the Trammps reviews? That’s when you get my dander up. And by the way, what is dander?

Anyway back to the Trammps. It seems that in recent years AMG has concentrated more on “rock roll” than anything else. All of the other work in the various genres is totally perfunctory and often insulting, especially in the R&B department. So that’s why the world, the Trammps and Joe Torre are upset, no review of Mixin’ It Up.
I got something. A review; look it….


Hard Rock and Disco-The song is as odious as the title. This attempted to merge two different styles. It didn’t work. It's horrible but yet cringe worthy enough to seek out.


VIP- VIP is one of the last gasps of that classic Philly sound. This is straight up enjoyable and danceable track. A nod to the present/future was represented in the synth structures that weren’t unlike the stuff Solar was doing at the time. Arranger Vince Montana pulls the track back into prime-Philly with an emotional string arrangement. There’s about three guitars on here, all great stuff. Kind of sad Philly couldn’t of retained some vestige of this style...

Music Freek- This track isn’t as good as “VIP” though certainly not disposable. I do love this line, “Everybody has their favorite music/Big band, rock, whatever turns you on/As for me I just like to boogie/Dancing at the disco all night long.” This has the newer, funky style—but it’s not faceless or horrible.


The rest of Mixin’ It Up isn’t so hot, here’s some other great stuff

The Trammps-III 1977
The Trammps-The Best Of- 1978
The Trammps-The Whole World’s Dancing 1979

See, I ain’t playing. I love this stuff.



See, a song on this album talked about mixing musical styles and look! There's a cartoon mixer. Great! 

Charlie Moore has some lessons for you. Sadly they have nothing to do with book learnin'...
 



I was under the impression that “The Head of the Class” actually had a batch of good episodes. After catching the whole, sad thing it seems I was wrong. Due to circumstances beyond my control, my ability to totally remember “Class” is seriously impaired. In the series Hesseman played Charlie Moore, a failed actor who became a substitute teacher for some of the gifted students at Monroe /Millard Fillmore High.


I’ve always been a fan of Hesseman’s work. He was one of the best things about the classic sitcom WKRP. “Head of the Class” found Hesseman a few years after his Kamikaze mission on “One Day at a Time.”

If there’s one thing that’s freaked me out about Hesseman’s portrayal, it was his phony smile. We saw it on those nifty credits and we certainly saw it more and more during the end of his “HOTC” run. Hesseman bailed out on the kids in the fifth season and was replaced by Billy Connolly, whose Irish brogue was so overdone he sounded like an old lady.


In the most revolting news, it turns out Charlie didn’t make it back on the show’s final episode. Damn him!

Caitlin Keats: You Had Me At Low Risk of Sexual Side Effects...

Wow! 



Great 

Great, again! 

Caitlin Keats. Great name, is she great looking or what? I love her voice too. Although the folk(s) who come to the Pop Culture Idiot want to hear this Idiot ramble on about stuff like bootleg albums or Morey Amsterdam, I had to take the time out and say, yeah wow--she's hot.

You've probably seen Keats in Kill Bill Vol 2. She's also in a few commercials like Oil of Olay, Wellbutrin-XL and Nationwide. Great all around and smoking hot. Well I can't use Oil of Olay or Nationwide but that nerve medicine stuff is totally in the picture. Sounds like a plan. I don't want to have a wong malfunction trying to improve on my "funny moods." Ahh they don't look like Keats so screw em' or not...

The Bachelor: Show Is Over, Say Goodbye

Bachelor Bob: Franchise Killer 



Get a load of that guy. Just take a gander, he's totally phony. But in a way, Bob Guiney seemed to be the man to keep ABC's semi-long running reality show afloat. Not so. In fact after Bachelor Bob's season the show has continued to decline. But it's still on as of this writing. I just received some news, the Bachelor has been cancelled! No, wait. I just got some more news, it's still on and "popping" as the kids say. While I'm getting my info together, let's review this debacle, frame by frame. A few years from now, I bet some of this tape is going to be used on America's Most Wanted. I can only hope, the Pop Culture Idiot likes crossover, television "events." Below are the jokers who have become the Bachelor. Word on the street is that one of the more "odd" ones has made a makeshift rose ceremony shrine in his basement. Just a note, not passing judgement.




Alex- The first and probably the best. Despite all of his chit-chat, Alex turned out to be an Empty Portfolio Jones. He talked a good game but yes he was a little weird. As for the picks, Alex pretty much sped down the same slippery slope of picking the wrong women for all of the wrong reasons. He probably had access to the Bachelor's biggest crush for geeks worldwide. Shannon. Crazy, emotionally unreadable though cute, it seemed like they were going to end up together. Not quite. Certainly Alex wasn't everyone's cup of Joe. Certainly he was a Mr. Fancy Pants for those who play the spoons to "Good Old Rocky Top." Alex did indeed set the standard: The standard of the Bachelor invariably picking the wrong woman.

Grade B+




Aaron- This is the chucklehead who had Heather from Texas's head "turnin'" and no one else's really. This was an utterly forgettable entry as any the women are a big blur of hair, overdone exit scenes and long limo rides home. Aaron has the distinction of being the most boring Bachelor. His big moment was taking his intended to a dingy ol' place where a restaurant should be. As Aaron appeared, television sets across the globe switched to everything from L&O repeats to PBS beg-a-thons. Nope he didn't end up with his "beloved" either. In fact the winner ad the runner-up actually got together to write a book about dating. Dealing with a passive-aggressive walking landmine like Aaron will do that for a gal.

Grade C-



Bob- Much hyped and didn't deliver. After cracking his way into the hearts of some Americans, Bob, named "Bachelor Bob" got 15 minutes for being the slightly heavy guy Bachelorette Trista flung onto the cold concrete. After parlaying that big failure into appearances on Oprah, Bob seemed to be reluctant to take on the responsibilities the Bachelor entailed. Losing about 1,000 pounds, he reconsidered. In short order fans of "new guy" Bob were shocked and saddened to see him morph into the most gruesome and seamy paramour of them all.

Bachelor Bob arguably got some of the most interesting women, like Kelly Jo, and Mary, 2nd Bachelorette Meredith, but Bob bid them all adieu. He picked Estella, a then 20 something year old woman with a permanent frowny face and a cart full of weird tics and traits that made her patently undatable. But after all of his unctuous moves, it seems that Bachelor Bob wasn't finished hoodwinking the public. It turns later that the Estella/Bob love match was a laughable farce and Bob ended up with soap actress Rebecca Budgie. Bachelor Bob, will you ever stop outsmarting us? We're getting scared.

Grade B-

Andrew- Look at your tires, Firestone you say? And this guy couldn't get a date? It all seemed ridiculous. And Andrew's edition never really took off. Blandness is the word here. With his crooked Church Lady smirk and his showy vintage T's, Andrew went from geeky scion to twit in nanoseconds. How bad was it? The oddly coffied and perfectly modulated vocal "tones" of host Chris Harrison was the best part of this Sleepy-Time Edition. There was one bright spot, Tina Fabulous and even she got boring the closer she got to Firestone's soul numbing personal space. Andrew did end up with someone however, one Jen Scheft, the definition of toxic TV. And unlike other installments, this foolishness went on and as the Scheft/Firestone love match continued to play out on entertainment programs, magazines, on...ahh forget, it's over...


Grade C-

Jessie-Wow! Win a date with a third string quarterback. Isn’t that what all girls dream of? Well not quite. Despite the big buildup, this edition was yet another total groaner as even the Bachelor himself is barely remembered. What is notable however is one of the women. Trish. Great looking, a little hard, probably amazing in, well, everything was made out to be the shrew of the ages to offset Jessie Palmer lack of brain waves. Sure, Trish was a challenge and yet every entertainment hungry man and women were screaming for Jessie to "man up" and do what they wanted to do with hot, hot Trish. It didn't happen. The runner-up is barely remembered, so is the "winner" as well as Jessie. After the show uncertainly seemed to grip young Jessie's career. The Pop Culture Idiot's has got some news. Whenever Mr. Palmer wants it, he has a job as a starter for the Baltimore Colts. We deliver!



Grade C+


Byron- I guess this guy was the lesser of two evils. In a sad display, the Bachelor decided to offer two eligible men, Byron, the boyish fisherman and Jay his more stable and remote counterpart. In the end it wasn't a contest and Jay was hustled out of the way and shown the door. As the only bachelor left, Byron pretty much put the stones back in the show. He wasn't boring in the least, a tad self-absorbed and never too hesitant to "break it down" for some of the women acting like totally psychopaths. And that was the problem. Although Byron's taste was good, but his picks were mentally imploding so he was rewarded with two Bachelor cast-offs, Heather from Texas (the Bachelor 2) and the biggest victim of Bob Guiney's whims, the smoking hot, Mary Delgado. Byron ended up with Mary in the show's finale and it was clear the two were going strong on a "reunion" show. Great stuff all around but for the show, it might be too little too late.

Grade B


Charlie- Of course this is Jerry O' Connell's brother and by the time this edition rolled around, that was the draw. Isn't that sad? We've no doubt seen this elastic faced guy around before and despite his semi-notoriety, the Bachelor had finally eased down D+ lane without any of the participants even knowing it. By the third show Charlie had become a dumb, gangly cartoon giving verbose and moist eyed explanations on why he gave the chicks the boot. Well it's part of the show, we get it. This edition was callow city. A little bit of hard-wrought wisdom would have straightened this right out. And of course the one woman, who could have centered this, broke down in tears in a bar and ran away. Seeing one too many booty gyrations must have crushed her spirit.

Got nadir? Sure do. The three hour finale surely qualifies. As Charlie was on edge throughout, the cameras actually followed him down a darkish hallway where he delivered his "no can do" news to No 2. Krissly. What's worse? The camera continued to show her thunderstuck and in obvious distress. That made the rest of the show pretty anti-climatic, few cared about the "great" relationship, or the show's final fifteen minutes. A note: This show was opposite the Everybody Loves Raymond series finale and got pummelled.

Grade C-

What's Supporting My CD Collection, Literally...

I hear something. Crick, crash...Boom!



I have to say, I still don't treat CD's as well as I could. I'm better. In the halcyon days of the late '80s when I thought CD's were indestructible I did everything but floss with them. Scratch that. Then again. I'm sure you might remember those days. Warner Brothers had an advertisement on how to treat your compact disc's and believe it or not, having them out of the case and wrapping a rubber band about 20 of them wasn't going to help them any. Shocker.


I've of course learned and now I have one section on a side wall. Certainly a long way from semi-tasteful vinyl displays I used to have, but better than having 10,ooo Manics as my new fave/coaster. Looking at the stacks of CD's I do have to say I'm proud of a few of them. The ones that support all of the others. It's a yeoman type job, but it's much appreciated. I'll give three titles the Pop Culture Idiot "spotlight" to let you know who's doing a fabulous job, the absolute support, CD's that are slightly more suckier than the ones above them...


A Tribe Called Quest-Anthology: I did love this group even if I was a casual fan during their prime. Their placement in my collection, is an oversight, but then again a lot of '90s rap does sound older than "Mule Train." Looking back doing this set in 1999 was a bit poignant, it effectively closed out an era that didn't have to end. The big hits you know, "Award Tour," the gorgeous "Bonita Applebaum" and "Electric Relaxation." What I come back for is 1998's clinker, "Stressed Out" featuring then label mate Faith Evans. Certainly the hook is a bald rewrite of Anita Baker's "Good Love" but the production and the lyrics do indeed capture maturity within the group as well as a certain generation. If anything Midnight Marauders replaced this in no time, the ending songs and energy of that CD sums the group up a tad better...

Status: Still at the bottom of my stack

Grade: ****


The Jackson 5-Dancing Machine/Moving Violation


In 2001 Universal had the bright idea to reissue the Jackson 5's domestic albums in "two-fers." It's a great idea and for a completist like me, I bought them all. A month later I realized that I had all of the J5 CD's, it was a total then what. This is probably the set I played the least. Dancing Machine was originally released in 1974. At the time Michael was going towards the back end of puberty, his voice changed, the early '70s Motown sound was fracturing and Dancing Machine relied more on gimmicks and a heavy handed production rather than cohesion and great song. Of course there's a few exceptions. Although Dancing Machine did appear on 1973's "Get it Together," I probably prefer this version. The guys also do a nice version of "If I Don't Love You This Way." By the way Michael's voice sounded, I wouldn't be surprised if it came from an earlier session.

There's not a whole heck of a lot to discuss about Moving Violation. The Holland Brothers (of HDH/Holland Dozier Holland fame) came back to Motown around 1975 and had the Jackson 5, as well as the Supremes and Temptations on their production schedule. The Holland Brothers tracks certainly sound good, but the work here (including producers Mel Larson and Jerry Marcellino) is just so-so lyrically. In short, it's still disappointing and even nostalgia can't rehab both of these time capsules.

Status: In my player--for about two more minutes...

Grade: *** Dancing Machine, **Moving Violation

Prince-Emancipation

Well, well, well, don't I feel foolish. All of this time I thought this was that long-gone and useless 3 CD Sony doorstop, Sounds of the '70s. Come to find out it's Emancipation, something I've actually been looking for. Turns out this wasn't exactly an artistic rebirth but a semi-solid set that staved off musical decline and perhaps insanity. This 1996 release is a 3 CD set manufactured and distributed by EMI. All of those who thought Prince was the archetypical company man and would be with Warner Bros a while longer sure got a shock. The anal retentive among us still can't believe Prince and Capitol crossed paths. It didn't last too long though. This is a set I still enjoy. It's excessive, 3 CD's of prime Prince is 1 CD too much, but some of the stuff here is great. The erotic "One Kiss At A Time" is one of his sexiest ballads. The evocative "Soul Sanctuary" is didn't come off as fey as it could have. Prince covered a lot of bases, like his covers of "One of Us," "Betcha By Golly Wow" and "I Can't Make You Love Me." All adequately done, can't say I'll ever listen to them again, still stuck on 2 and 3 on Disc 2 and that's enough.

Despite the buildup, Emancipation has seemed to be a favorite at wherever cut-out CD's are sold. Although the presentation is cheesy--as well as those tacky looking CD's, the whole deal is worth checking out.

Status: Placed on top of my CD collection

Grade: ****

Bob Barker: Up To No Good...


....Sure Bob pretty much coasts on automatic pilot and has done so for years. But when it's time for Plinko, our kindly Bob turns into a man possessed. Included is a pic of Bob away from his fix, we've got a youthful, impressionable fan base here, we don't want the devilish glint in Bob's eyes to offend, sicken or scar.

Some background, the Price is Right started during Plinko in 1983. Reagan was in office doing something or other, MTV was filled with Brit-pop, and Bob was flying high on a feeling called Plinko, or as some call it, Plinko. We all know it, a gaudy, number-laden contraption is hauled out yet again. The contestants (and or enablers) send a chip down a shoot for it to land on a big monetary prize. According to published rumors, Barker wanted a few of the Plinko money tiles replaced with potentially upsetting "requests." The world wasn't ready and Barker was rebuffed. Anyway, if one of the chips are stuck here comes Bob with his Plinko stick digging around, mugging and chatting it up. I'm sick of it. No, we're sick of it.

Pop Culture Idiot Alert: We almost have our eye on one Tony Danza. It seems he has a Plinko like contraption called, "Extravadanza." He has a willing accomplice called "Vetrini" and, well that's all we can say know. Let's say that we are watching and we are not pleased.

Pop Culture Idiot is so bad (How bad is it?) It's so bad, Jason should give up the ghost and get a real job.

Oh oh, it's like that huh Gene Rayburn? You calling me out?

That was me three minutes ago before I realized I was talking to Gene Rayburn and the good folks at PCI told me Mr. Rayburn was no longer with us. Shame on me, fifteen times. This is the part of my blog where I do some self-examination, to see where the Pop Culture Idiot has been and where it's going. The verdict: OK.

Random Thoughts: You know what I found odd above the above picture? That microphone. I've been watching reruns of Match Game and I'm fixated by that gauche, battered thing microphone. What? Did that mike have tough weekends carousing the town, drinking pulling all nighters? Maybe Charles Nelson Reilly smuggled it out of the studio during breaks and had his own Match Game with Burt Reynolds and Dom DeLuise. Certainly Gene would be lost without it. But back to the subject, why was that mic so battered? Did Gene use it in batting practice with Ron Guidry or something? Why is it bent? See, that's why I like this place, we only talk about the important stuff...

Final Grade For Pop Culture Idiot: Incomplete

James Brown: Sex Machine Today

This is reissued? Good God A'mighty!



This is startling news. I was innocently surfing the net, you know "hanging out" when I saw this. I was looking at a list of James Brown albums that were still in print, hovered around his 1970 to 1978 work and saw that this 1975 P.O.S. was brought back into circulation.

If anyone knows me, they know I love talking about James Brown's '70s work, the peak, the albums and the decline. Pictured above is the decline. By 1975 it seemed that Brown was running out of inspiration. In four short years he had a hand in everything from albums like Get on the Good Foot, The Payback and my personal favorite Hell from 1974. James also was involved in albums from offshoot groups and artists like Fred Wesley and the JB's, Lyn Collins and a fine one from Charles "Sweet Charles" Sherrell. At this point, Brown's JB's weren't the happiest folks on earth, the session guys weren't too hot, the exodus started and "Sex Machine Today" finds Brown before it all fall apart, but the damage is done.

And what wreckage it is, so much so I have no idea why this nightmare has been restored to anyone's catalogue.

The Good: In this case good is being really charitable. The title song is a lazy-ass remake of Brown's 1970 hit "Sex Machine." And no it's no where near the original. This is an instance of Brown's music being, well, angry. At this point everyone was starting to catch up and James knew it. The studio banter with his band is funny though. At the end of the day all of that cackling didn't help them get paid any faster or at all.

The Middling: "Problems" is pretty much a "Funky President" knock-off and really who wants to hear James bitch.

The Horrid: Well that would be "Deep In It" a cringe inducing, clumsily arranged ode to sex. And really it's so bad and embarrasing it's not even worth the kitsch factor--and I'm all about the kitsch.

I Don't Need Andrea, I Don't Need No One!


Let’s face facts. Jordan Bonner is not going to respond to the pleas from the Pop Culture Idiot. During it’s inception in 1996, Bonner was the first person we wanted to talk to. We always thought that Bonner was a class act, the kind of can-do American that makes us proud. Guess we all were bamboozled.


Flash up all these years later, we are still interested in him even though his plotline ran out of gas the first day he showed up on the Beverly Hills 90210 set. Julian Bonner, I mean Jordan, was the best of Andrea’s mediocre and odd looking boyfriends. Here's his backstory. Jordan made his first appearence on the "Home and Away" episode of Beverly Hills 90210. He went off into the Gulf War, became a martian and then reprised his role. Jason Priestley's hair didn't move during all of this. Jordan became friendly and more than friends with Andrea Zuckerman. Speaking of Andrea, I've been checking out the reruns and did she ever have a nice shape. See that's what Jordan liked and the two began to date of and on.

This is where it gets a little sketchy. In the episode where Kelly develops a 7 day eating disorder, she conks out in the Peach Pit bathroom and has to be taken to the hospital. Andrea and Jordan were lovey-dovey throughout. But something happens. The writers "convienity" have "J" step back so he wouldn't be able to visit Kelly with the rest of the "gang." In Jordan's very last scene he's telling Steve just where the "love of his life" is. And as Steve walks away, Jordan glares at him like he stole something.

That was the last we saw of Jordan Bonner. He was referenced in the later "prom" episode but our friend was gone. Jordan Bonner: 1668-1993, he was totally lying about his age...

Joe Camel: A 90's Icon: Missing...

One of Hollywood's "Young Guns" Camel is pictued playing pool at Christian Slater's bunglow. nbsp;


As I was getting ready to have some “high profile” yet hush-hush meetings about the future of the Pop Culture Idiot, some sad news reached my desk. I was taken aback, choked back a sob and then decided to bring the “good” news to you. Here it is, keep his under your hat: Joe Camel is missing.



Joe Camel on the set of Blues Brothers 2000. Due to his erratic behavior Camel was replaced by John Goodman.  



Although we did all have a scare in 1995 when Joe decided to take an extended break (Hazelton), but this time, it’s looking like the situation deserves all of our attention. Here’s the poop. It seems that Joe has been despondent over losing his job as the Camel cigarette pitch man. Joe is and always will be a company man, hence the name change. Sketchy reports have had Joe back to his old ways of hanging out with loose women, smoking crack rock cocaine. The saddest news of all is that Joe has ditched his fashionable clothes, the tasteful Hawaiian shirts, the tuxedos and sold them for what is described as “his medicine..."



Sitting pretty. Camel in happier times. 

Pop Culture Idiot: Half Awake Cinema, Perfect

New Fangled Box: Same Ol' Movie


If you're one of the two people who read this site, you should have known this was coming. But first, let's take a crack at that box. To the newcomers, the original art for "Perfect" didn't look like this, nothing did in 1985. This box looks to be a product of the early '90s used to "freshen up" a going-gone title to make it more palatable. Me? I liked the original Rolling Stone type artwork.

Review: This 1985 clinker starred John traveled and Jamie Lee Curtis. It's about a Rolling Stone reporter, Adam Roth (Travolta) who was given the assignment to cover the hot new trend of exercise places as pick up joints. Thrilling. In his reporting duties he meets up with Curtis who happens to be a former Olympian with a past she'd rather not talk about. Believe it or not, the movie isn't as gruesome as the premise. But then again I didn't stay up for it either. I've seen this a good five times, but I haven't watched the whole thing, here's what I remember.

John Travolta-Travolta's a long way from his "Staying Alive" fighting shape. In fact he's a vacant-eyed, paunchy, pasty thing throughout this movie. As Roth, Travolta doesn't seem to go for a journalistic nebbishness (not a word) or a certain cool some writers use to compensate their geek origins, he's just there.

Jamie Lee Curtis- Let's face it, she's the movie. With her impeccable shape, hard/soft persona she's a joy to watch. It's great seeing her workout too although the scenes with her leading her aerobics group are certainly cringe worthy, but also great fun. As for the acting chops, for a minute I thought she was the character she played. Not bad at all.

Jann Wenner-Every semi-train wreck needs a conductor and of "catch-all" entity to blame for the tragedy. Meet Jann Wenner. He essentially played himself and he was awful. With his telegraphed dialogue and will o' the wisp energy isn't a wonder James Bridges didn't include a scene of Wenner spinning himself in the ground. And what an editor this guy played. Glad handing, self-aggrandizing, the only thing missing was the inapproriate 4 Am coked-out "pep talk" and the missing money in a check that's two weeks late. Yick.

Add-On's: I did like the scene with Wenner and Lauren Hutton and Susie Coelho. Talk about '80s fun. I...(edited for the Too Much Information files.)

More Stuff: For some reason when I think of "Perfect" I think of that "anthem" from that 1983 Travolta and Olivia Newton-John goner, "Twist Of Fate." I don't know why, maybe it's the hair. You can also find the "Perfect" soundtrack at eBay or wherever. Although the soundtrack is a perfect '80s, whatever, with Lou Reed, Jermaine Jackson and the Thompson Twins (don't even have to look), it's never getting in print again. The album cover was also used as the original promo.

Pop Culture Idiot's Mission: Find Eivets Rednow

Where's Eivets!?


Now this was a talented young man and pardon my French, I don't think he ever got his due. Eivets released an album for Gordy in 1967. A pleasant album, the kind of album you could play for the whole family. In fact, I'd go so far to say that this is the best Eivets Rednow album you're likely to hear. Ok, it's the only one you're likely to hear.


On this album Eivets--E for short--did top notch cover versions of "Alfie," "A House is Not a Home" plus the rousing and poignant, "More Than A Dream." But alas it was not enough. Given the changing musical scene, Rednow was never heard from again. He was dropped Gordy Records due to sales described as "sluggish."This is where I come in. I'm looking to find Eivets Rednow. He hasn't been heard from since this release and like a lot of others, I'm worried. So If you know about Rednow's whereabouts, you certainly can drop a line at the Pop Culture Idiot, we'll be glad to take your message...

Pop Culture Idiot's Achiever of the Minute

You can tell that things are looking up here. So much traffic, projects "in the works" as well as a mention, somewhere. In fact things are getting so comfy here, we here at the Idiot can finally give our little 'ol award to someone who's mighty special. That person is Truck Turner. On the surface he seems like an imposing fella, frightening, especially when he's shooting at you--but Truck Turner is good people. No, scratch that, Truck Turner is great people.